Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

These days people have numerous options in terms of taking cosmetic procedures as well as to buy beauty products that reverse their ageing. However, I personally believe that these treatments and products has many side effects that can cause long term damage to the health of the individuals who excessively takes these treatments. Hence, it should be used in limit and people should follow natural approaches that can improve their health and makes them look younger.

One significant disadvantage of these creams and procedures are that they can detriorate the natural functioning of the human body. For instance, if a women takes steriods for a longer period of time that makes them look more younger and feminine their bodies with time become dependent on them. Consequently, they need to depend on steriods for their whole life. since, this not only cause negative physical effects but also harms the individuals psychologically. Furthermore, they are more prone to develop mental diseases like depression and anxiety.

Another major drawback of this trend is that it will cause excessive competition in society as people fails to appreciate the natural beauty. Therefore, this growing trend can negatively affect people's self esteem and body image due to unrealistic beauty standard set in a society. As a result people will face unnecessary societal pressure to undergo medical treatments.

In conclusion, although this trend can make people feel more positive about their physical appearances yet excessive reliance on them disturbs healthy functioning of the human body and sets unrealistic beauty standards in society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

Your position is clear: you view the trend as harmful when people rely on it excessively, while acknowledging that it can improve confidence. You address the question with relevant points about health risks and social pressure, and the steroid example gives one argument some support. This meets the task well, but the discussion is unevenly developed: the claim about physical and psychological harm is explained more fully than the point about competition and beauty standards, which would benefit from a specific example or clearer explanation of how the pressure affects people. The opening also focuses mainly on risks rather than briefly weighing why people may see these products or treatments as beneficial. Developing both sides and supporting each main idea more precisely would make the response more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present separate disadvantages, and the conclusion restates your position. The progression from health effects to social consequences is logical, and signposts such as “For instance,” “Furthermore,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument. To make the organisation more flexible, avoid relying so heavily on explicit linking phrases and strengthen the links between claims and their explanations. For example, the paragraph on social pressure moves quickly from competition to self-esteem and then medical treatments; explaining the causal connection between these points would improve flow. Also ensure that references such as “them” in the conclusion clearly identify the products and treatments.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic vocabulary, including “cosmetic procedures,” “side effects,” “self esteem,” “body image,” and “unrealistic beauty standard.” These choices make your position and subject clear, and you attempt some less common expressions such as “natural functioning” and “excessive reliance.” However, several spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “detriorate” and “steriods” are misspelled, while “reverse their ageing” and “more younger” are awkward or inaccurate. Some phrases are also imprecise, such as “mental diseases” for the effects you describe. Aim for accurate collocations and check spelling carefully; this would help you express the ideas more naturally without changing your overall argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including a relative clause in “treatments that can cause long term damage” and a conditional example beginning “if a women takes…”. The main ideas remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “these treatments and products has” and “people fails”; the conditional sentence also shifts between singular “a women” and plural “them.” Other issues include “it should be used” after a plural reference, and the sentence beginning “since” is incorrectly punctuated as a new sentence fragment. Work on agreement, consistent pronoun reference, and sentence boundaries, while retaining your attempts at complex sentences. More accurate control of these patterns would make the argument easier to read.

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