Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-11-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, people are buying many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger. While some find it advantageous others feel it is a bad investment. In my opinion, it is a bad choice as I have personally not seen any results.

To begin with, people follow advertisements and social media and end up spending thousands of dollars on fake products with minimal affect. Moreover, they are not backed by science and are fake claims. Rather than looking younger these products may affect our body adveresly, it might lead to obesity, bloating, pimples and other skin diseases.

Furthermore, treatments could be very expensive which will last for couple of months and more treatment would be needed again and again. Some of these treatment include laser, buttocks and wrinkle control. When you use a new products or treatments some might have visible affects but it is not worth the money spent on it. Only big celebrities can afford such expensive treatments, as along with these treatments they follow plethora of other things they follow like excercise, diet and sleep. For instance, my mother has applied three very expensive wrinkle remover for her face in past years, but nothing has changed for her even though she followed all the instructions. She still has wrinkles

To conclude, it would be a long lasting affect if we can make lifestyle change like eat holistic food and excercise. We also have to accept the fact that eventually, everyone will grow old so let us grow old gracefully with wrinkle but have a healthier body.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear: you consider anti-ageing products and treatments a bad choice, and you give relevant reasons about cost, questionable claims, possible health effects, and the value of lifestyle changes. The example about your mother also helps make the argument personal. However, some points are asserted rather than fully explained—for example, the claimed health effects of products and the idea that only celebrities can afford treatments need clearer support or qualification. The discussion of treatments is also less developed than your general criticism of products. The response is 249 words, so it falls one word short of the 250-word minimum; the 12 words copied from the prompt are not counted. Develop the reasons with more precise explanation and evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a coherent overall structure: an introduction states your view, two body paragraphs present reasons and an example, and a conclusion restates your position. Sequencing phrases such as “To begin with,” “Furthermore,” and “To conclude” make the progression easy to follow. However, cohesion is sometimes mechanical, and some links between ideas are unclear. In the second body paragraph, the list of treatments, the comment about celebrities, and the example about your mother do not connect smoothly. The phrase “as along with these treatments they follow plethora of other things they follow” repeats an idea and makes the relationship difficult to follow. Use clearer references and transitions that show how each example supports the main point, and organise each paragraph around one central reason.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use an adequate range for the topic, including terms such as “advertisements,” “treatments,” “wrinkle control,” “lifestyle change,” and “holistic food.” Some less common vocabulary is attempted, but several choices or forms are inaccurate and reduce precision: “minimal affect” should be “minimal effect,” “fake claims” is repetitive after “fake products,” and “wrinkle remover” is not the natural term for a product. There are also spelling errors, including “adveresly” and “excercise,” and “plethora” is awkward in this context. These errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main argument, but more accurate collocations and careful proofreading would make it clearer and more natural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and complex sentences, including a contrast in “While some find it advantageous others feel it is a bad investment” and a conditional structure in “When you use a new products or treatments…”. However, some errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction remain. For example, “people are buying many products or pay” mixes verb forms; “a new products” has incorrect number agreement; and “treatments could be very expensive which will last” has an unclear relative clause. The sentence about celebrities is also difficult to parse because its structure repeats “they follow.” Punctuation is occasionally missing, such as after “advantageous” and at the end of the mother example. Check agreement and sentence boundaries, and revise complex sentences for clarity.

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