Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

With advancements in science and technology, we have fulfilled substantial amount of human desires. Fast cars, smart watches, sustainable commodities are few examples of our accomplishments. We have not only progressed in technology for goods but also in human biology and medicine. With the help of various beauty products we can have wrinkle free look, fairer and clear skin.

Every individual has full liberty over how they want to look or what they want to do with their facial features. The desire to appear younger cannot be describes as a taboo. Although in my opinion, using such heavy cosmetics can result it prolonged side-effects to the natural skin. Majorly with the beauty products industry introducing safer compounds for their products, it has created a huge demand in the market, but the downside of using these products over and over is not considered to be safe. Beauty creams and products are also priced at a high value for the amount of substance that is in the container.

Additionally, undergoing surgery to appearing young is also tampering with your natural body or facial structure. Such procedures are very expensive and also takes extensive amount of time to heal. Undergoing surgeries are risky since it can also cause you medical side-effects. The factor of the surgery not being successful and not being able to obtain the desired look will be devastating for a person.

In conclusion, we shall prioritize our health and be comfortable in our own skin. Modifying bodies natural make-up will cost you lot of money and time opening you to many risks.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the freedom to choose and the negative aspects of anti-aging treatments. However, the development is somewhat superficial. While you mention that people have the liberty to choose, the argument regarding the 'bad' aspects is repetitive, focusing heavily on side effects and cost without exploring broader societal implications, such as the pressure to conform to unrealistic beauty standards. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are more thoroughly extended with specific examples or deeper analysis. The position is clear, but the supporting points could be more nuanced to fully explore the complexity of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Additionally' and 'In conclusion', to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of linking words could be more varied. For instance, the transition between the discussion of cosmetics and the mention of the beauty industry is a bit abrupt. Improving the use of referencing (e.g., using pronouns or synonyms to link back to previous ideas) would help the text feel more cohesive and less like a list of points.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'advancements', 'commodities', and 'devastating'. However, there are some inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'fulfilled substantial amount of human desires' (should be 'a substantial amount') and 'modifying bodies natural make-up' (should be 'the body's natural appearance'). Some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'wrinkle free look'. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that your word choices are precise and grammatically appropriate for the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'cannot be describes' (should be 'described'), 'result it prolonged side-effects' (should be 'result in'), and 'takes extensive amount of time' (should be 'take an'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and pluralization, such as 'bodies natural make-up'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they occur often enough to limit the score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and consistent proofreading to catch these minor slips.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.