Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

I was once asked a very common question "Can money buy happiness?" Well in today's world , if someone finds happiness in beauty and getting younger , answer is definitely a "YES". With an increasing trend in buying products that are available in the market to get younger, there is another perspective that emerges "Does everything has to be plastic?"

In my opinion there should always be balance between the perspectives as according to me neither of the perspectives are completely right or completely wrong. I have myself used many herbal , non-chemical face creams from Korea particularly to make myself feel younger. I like when I see myself in the mirror, boosts my confidence immediately and who does not like getting compliments ? However, I do not support the needles that people use these days to look younger and suffer pain and add chemicals to their body which they are cautioned about. In my opinion there is a line that needs to be drawn to do everything in your means to achieve looking younger.

Likewise, I also do not appreciate people who completely denies technology and the new inventions like the herbal creams , that help you look younger. This clearly means that they are stuck to their beliefs and do not wan to alter even when science can bring good changes within themselves. We in general as citizens of this world pay a part of our income for these scientific research and inventions and we should definitely harvest the benefits when we can.

I recently met one of my friend's art in an exhibition in London and I was surprised when I saw her. I was told she is 65 years old but when I saw her she really looked like she was in her 40's. I was very intrigues by her young looks and asked her , if she applies something and her answer shocked me. She said , there are non-chemical creams that she has been applying to her body and face for a while and the moment she started seeing the benefits and the confidence that it gave her means world to her.

To conclude, any scientific invention or new technology can have his Pros and Cons. We as the users should try harvesting the best that works for us and draw a line where we will not completely forget ourselves and do things just because we want to follow the world in a herd.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed the prompt by discussing both the benefits and the drawbacks of anti-aging treatments. Your position is clear from the introduction, and you provide personal examples to support your arguments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention the 'herd' mentality and the role of scientific research, some points, such as the specific mention of 'needles,' could be expanded further to explore the societal implications more deeply. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are consistently balanced and that you fully explore the 'why' behind your opinions rather than relying heavily on personal anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Likewise' and 'To conclude,' to link your ideas. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. For instance, the transition into the anecdote about your friend in London could be smoother. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and punctuation, such as the inconsistent use of quotation marks and spacing around commas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring consistent paragraph structure will help improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'scientific research,' 'inventions,' and 'perspective.' There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, though some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'harvest the benefits' or 'stuck to their beliefs.' You also have some minor errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'my friend's art' (referring to the person) and 'intrigues' instead of 'intrigued.' To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring that your vocabulary is used in the correct context to convey your meaning more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('Does everything has to be,' 'any scientific invention... can have his Pros'), missing articles, and punctuation errors (e.g., unnecessary spaces before commas). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. To achieve a higher band, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are constructed accurately without missing auxiliary verbs.

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