Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, beauty treatments has become a widely discussed issue. While some people believe that buying products are better, others argue that treatments would help the look younger. This essay will examine both the perspectives and explain if it's a good or bad thing.

There are so many products available in the market and with number of advertisements have made it harder to people to select which product is better for them. Products effectiveness is based on different skin types or what problem is an individual trying to solve. Most of these products can be obtained over the counter. This makes it harder to select as these are not recommended by doctor which helps to select specific brand or instructions. People end up buying different products as they are not sure which one might work for them. Due to this, they also might face some side effects as they mix some products or they are not entirely aware of the product. For instance, you may end up buying face mask which mentions it helps you look younger but your skin might react badly to it.

On the contrary, treatments are getting popular and they are better as they recommended by a specialist or a doctor. Specific treatment is suggested after careful examination of one's problem and after running some test. This helps to determine which treatment would word best and with what possible side effects. These treatments are carried out in presence of a specialist or doctor. Additionally, treatments are better as they provide faster results compared to products. For instance, botox might be faster as its injected versus face masks which might take months to show effects.

In conclusion, demand of treatments are rising in compared to buying over the counter products as its faster and effective. However, to maintain doctor might suggest over the counter products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both products and treatments, though the position is somewhat inconsistent. While you argue that treatments are better, the conclusion introduces a confusing point about maintaining results with over-the-counter products, which slightly undermines your initial stance. The ideas are relevant, but the development is somewhat superficial. For example, you mention that products can cause side effects, but you could have explored the psychological impact of the 'youth-obsessed' culture to provide a more comprehensive answer. To improve, ensure your position is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained consistently throughout the essay, avoiding contradictory statements in the conclusion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'On the contrary' and 'Additionally,' to link ideas. However, the use of referencing is sometimes weak, and some transitions feel mechanical. For instance, the final sentence of the essay is abrupt and lacks a clear connection to the preceding argument. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next, creating a more cohesive overall argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'specialist,' 'effectiveness,' and 'advertisements.' However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'treatments would help the look younger' (should be 'help people look younger') and 'treatments would word best' (should be 'work best'). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing, such as the frequent use of 'better' to describe both products and treatments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You have several subject-verb agreement errors, such as 'beauty treatments has become' (should be 'have become') and 'demand of treatments are rising' (should be 'is rising'). Additionally, there are missing articles and preposition errors, such as 'harder to people' (should be 'harder for people') and 'in presence of a specialist' (should be 'in the presence of'). While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical agreement and article usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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