Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It has been argued that these days increasing numbers of people are spending on cosmetic products and treatments to appear younger than they are. In my opinion, it is not a bad thing to do, is because of thier desire to look younger and attractive to maintain their figure in public and for their career and professional image. This essay will discuss the reasons why I feel this is a positive development.

One of the major reasons why people are spending so much on beauty products and treatments is because they wants to maintain their image in public and look smarter. People are now a days are judged on thier appearance particularly in social situations and professional events and if thier look is favourable then they are respected and given attention. For example- Now a days a lots of old celebrities and public figures from all the fields appear in a lot of make up. this is because they want to represent themselves as younger and attractive to remain famous.

Another important reason why people choose to take treatments and spead heavily on cosmetic products are to remain on thier peek in thier career to maintain their professional image. In some professions employees are expected to be well groomed and maintained particularly whn they maintain active communication with their clients and customers. For example, In the, film industry where lots of old actors and actresses undergo treatments to maintain a younger look so that they get new projects and films.

In conclusion, I believe spending on cosmetic products and beauty treatments is a well worth doing is because it helps people to remain active and maintain their public image as well as it maintains their professional image and helps them in thier career.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is positive. The ideas regarding social pressure and professional advancement are relevant. However, the development is somewhat repetitive; both body paragraphs focus heavily on the same concept of 'image' and 'professionalism.' To reach a higher band, you should explore more nuanced arguments, such as the psychological benefits of feeling confident versus the potential negative impacts of societal pressure or the financial burden of these treatments. The conclusion is a bit simplistic and merely restates the introduction rather than synthesising the main points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'One of the major reasons,' 'Another important reason'). Additionally, there are some issues with referencing and flow; for instance, the sentence 'is because of thier desire' in the introduction lacks a clear subject, and the transition between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother to avoid a 'list-like' feel.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cosmetic products,' 'professional image,' and 'well groomed.' However, there are several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'thier' (instead of 'their'), 'spead' (instead of 'spend'), 'peek' (instead of 'peak'), and 'whn' (instead of 'when'). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, you should focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your spelling is accurate, as these slips detract from the overall quality of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they wants to maintain,' 'people are now a days are judged') and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'is a well worth doing is because'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of hyphens and commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic agreement and sentence structure.

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