Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the years, youngsters of today's generation are becoming more reliant on their good looks than knowledge. This trend is directly because of the availability of cosmetic products. In my opinion, this is mainly due to the advancement in the medical field and convenience of import and export businesses which make it easy to make products available for customers. However, using the products without having knowledge of side effects can become a deadly illness.

Considering the good things, first and foremost the expansion of businesses means, compared to the past, the market of cosmetic products is established in every corner of the world. As a result, the availability of these skin products is becoming easier than ever to customers. Additionally, improvement in the medical field has played an important role as, along side imported cosmetic products and clinics such as, dermatologist and rhinoplasty are easily reachable in every city in country like an India. Not to mention, Payments of these high-profile doctors is becoming increasingly easy with installment plans where clients does not have to pay full amount at once.

Looking at the negative outcome which people often ignore to accept. Firstly, the dark side of using skin products. Many companies produce these products with ingredient of spices which often left users with skin disease. Secondly, people specially women tend to spend more money on products which helps them to look good. These expensive products are not being supplied on foreign countries. Due to this, the total amount gets higher then MRP can often lead to create worse financial situation.

In conclusion, overall using the treatment of shaping the face structure or invest in cosmetic products to look in their best shape is appreciable but at a same time, having sense of urgency is essential to protect themselves from not being victim of dark side.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of cosmetic treatments and products. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention the convenience of availability and financial installment plans, the negative points regarding 'ingredients of spices' and the economic impact are underdeveloped and slightly confusing. The position is clear, but the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. To improve, ensure that each point is fully supported with a clear logical link to the prompt's question about whether this trend is a 'good' or 'bad' thing, rather than just describing the industry.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'first and foremost', 'additionally', and 'looking at the negative outcome'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the logical progression within paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing, such as the transition into the discussion of financial situations. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the conclusion feels a bit abrupt and lacks a strong summary of the main arguments presented in the body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cosmetic products', 'high-profile', and 'installment plans'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'ingredient of spices' (which is unclear) and 'ignore to accept'. There are also minor errors in word form, such as 'Payments of these high-profile doctors is becoming' (should be 'The payment for... is becoming'). To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring collocations are natural and accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as 'clients does not have to pay' (subject-verb agreement) and 'total amount gets higher then MRP' (should be 'than'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward phrasings, such as 'clinics such as, dermatologist and rhinoplasty are easily reachable'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of comparative structures. Increasing the frequency of error-free sentences will significantly improve your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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