Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the years, youngsters of today's generation are becoming more reliant on their good looks than knowledge. This trend is directly because of the availability of cosmetic products. In my opinion, this is mainly due to the advancement in the medical field and convenience of import and export businesses which make it easy to make products available for customers. However, using the products without having knowledge of their side effects can become a deadly illness.

Considering the good things, first and foremost the expansion of businesses means, compared to the past, the market of cosmetic products is established in every corner of the world. As a result, the availability of these skin products is becoming easier than ever to customers. Additionally, improvement in the medical field has played an important role as, alongside imported cosmetic products and clinics such as, dermatologists and rhinoplasty are easily reachable in every city in a country like an India. Not to mention, payments of these high-profile doctors is becoming increasingly easy with installment plans where clients do not have to pay the amount at once.

Looking at the negative outcome which people often ignore to accept. Firstly, the dark side of using skin products. Many companies produce these products with harmful ingredient which often leave users with skin diseases. Secondly, people especially women tend to spend more money on products which help them to look good. These expensive products are not being supplied to foreign countries. Due to this, the total amount gets higher than the actual retail price can lead to worsen the financial situations.

In conclusion, overall using the treatment of shaping the face structure or investing in cosmetic products to look in their best shape is appreciable but at a same time, having sense of urgency is essential to protect themselves from not being victim of a dark side.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of cosmetic treatments. However, the position is somewhat inconsistent; the introduction focuses on the reliance on looks over knowledge, while the body paragraphs shift to economic and health impacts. Some ideas, such as the mention of 'import and export businesses' and 'installment plans,' are slightly tangential and not fully linked to the core question of whether this trend is a 'good' or 'bad' thing. To improve, ensure that every point directly supports your overall stance and provides a more balanced evaluation of the societal impact.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'first and foremost,' 'additionally,' and 'firstly,' to signal transitions. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'These expensive products are not being supplied to foreign countries,' which lacks a clear antecedent. The concluding sentence is also quite long and slightly convoluted, which affects the flow of the final argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring clear logical connections between sentences would enhance the coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'dermatologists,' 'rhinoplasty,' and 'high-profile.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'payments of these high-profile doctors is becoming increasingly easy' (should be 'paying for services') and 'ignore to accept' (should be 'fail to acknowledge'). Additionally, phrases like 'look in their best shape' are slightly unnatural. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the total amount gets higher than the actual retail price can lead to worsen the financial situations' and 'having sense of urgency is essential to protect themselves from not being victim of a dark side.' These errors, particularly with articles, verb forms, and sentence construction, occur throughout the text. While they do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct preposition usage will help.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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