Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the years, youngsters of today's generation are becoming more reliant on their good looks than knowledge. This trend is directly because of the availability of cosmetic products. In my opinion, this is mainly due to the advancement in the medical field and the growth of import and export businesses which make it easy to make products and get available for customers. However, using the products without having knowledge or knowing their side effects can become a deadly illness.

Considering the good things, first and foremost the expansion of businesses means, compared to the past, the market of cosmetic products is established in every corner of the world. As a result, the availability of these skin products is becoming easier than ever to customers. Additionally, improvement in the medical field has played an important role as, alongside imported cosmetic products but also clinics such as, dermatologists and rhinoplasty are easily reachable in every city in a country like India. Not to mention, payment of these high-profile doctors is becoming increasingly easy with installment plans where clients do not have to pay the amount at once.

Looking at the negative outcome which people often ignore to accept. Firstly, the dark side of using skin products. Many companies produce these products with harmful ingredients which often leave users with skin diseases. Secondly, people especially women tend to spend more money on products to look good. Although , these expensive products are being supplied from foreign countries. Due to this, the total amount of the products gets higher than the actual retail price which can lead to worsening the financial situations.

In conclusion, overall using the treatment of shaping the face structure or investing in cosmetic products to look in their best shape is appreciable but at a same time, having a sense of urgency is essential to protect themselves from not being victims of a dark side.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the trend toward cosmetic treatments. However, the position is somewhat inconsistent; the introduction focuses on the negative impact of youth relying on looks, while the body paragraphs shift to a more neutral discussion of market availability and financial implications. The conclusion attempts to balance these views but remains slightly vague. To improve, ensure your position is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained consistently throughout the essay. While the ideas are relevant, some points, such as the mention of 'rhinoplasty' and 'installment plans,' are specific but could be better integrated to support a stronger, more cohesive argument regarding the overall impact on society.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'first and foremost,' 'additionally,' and 'looking at the negative outcome,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Looking at the negative outcome which people often ignore to accept.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the conclusion where the sentence structure becomes convoluted, making it difficult to follow the final point. Improving the flow between sentences and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would enhance the overall coherence of the piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'cosmetic products,' 'dermatologists,' and 'rhinoplasty.' However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'get available for customers' instead of 'become available' and 'payment of these high-profile doctors' instead of 'paying for the services of.' Some phrasing is also slightly unnatural, such as 'worsening the financial situations.' To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to convey ideas with greater sophistication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Examples include 'the total amount of the products gets higher than the actual retail price' and 'at a same time, having a sense of urgency is essential to protect themselves from not being victims.' There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While the errors do not prevent understanding, they are noticeable. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and refining complex sentence structures to ensure they are grammatically sound.

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