Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Over the years, youngsters of today's generation are becoming more reliant on their good looks than knowledge. This trend is directly because of the availability of cosmetic products. In my opinion, this is mainly due to the advancement in the medical field and the growth of import and export businesses which make it easy to manufacture products make them available for customers. However, using the products without having knowledge of their side effects can become a deadly illness.

Considering the good things, first and foremost the expansion of businesses means, compared to the past, the market of cosmetic products is established in every corner of the world. As a result, the availability of these skin products is becoming easier than ever to customers. Additionally, improvement in the medical field has played an important role as, alongside imported cosmetic products there are also list of clinics such as, dermatologists and rhinoplasty are easily reachable in every city in a country like India. Not to mention, payment of these high-profile doctors is becoming increasingly easy with installment plans where clients do not have to pay the amount at once.

Looking at the negative outcome which people often ignore. Firstly, the dark side of using skin products. Many companies produce these products with harmful ingredients which often leave users with skin diseases. Secondly, people especially women tend to spend more money on products which help them to look good. Although, these expensive products are not being supplied to foreign countries. Due to this, the total amount gets higher than the actual retail price can lead to worsening the financial situations.

In conclusion, overall using the treatment of shaping the face structure or investing in cosmetic products to look in their best shape is appreciable but at the same time, having a sense of urgency is essential to protect themselves from not being victims of a dark side.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the trend of looking younger, but the development is inconsistent. While you identify both positive and negative aspects, the argument lacks depth. For instance, the claim that 'youngsters are becoming more reliant on their good looks than knowledge' is a strong opening but is not fully explored in relation to the prompt. The conclusion is somewhat vague, and the link between the 'dark side' and the 'financial situation' is not clearly explained. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly answers whether this trend is positive or negative.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use some cohesive devices like 'first and foremost', 'additionally', and 'looking at the negative outcome'. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'Looking at the negative outcome which people often ignore.' Additionally, some sentences lack logical flow, particularly in the third paragraph where the connection between expensive products and foreign supply is unclear. Improving the use of referencing and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cosmetic products', 'dermatologists', and 'rhinoplasty'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'make it easy to manufacture products make them available' and 'not to mention, payment of these high-profile doctors'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the attempt to use more sophisticated vocabulary occasionally results in unnatural expressions. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more accurately and refining your word choice to sound more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the total amount gets higher than the actual retail price can lead to worsening the financial situations' and 'protect themselves from not being victims'. Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some errors in sentence boundaries and article usage. The errors do not typically impede communication, but they are noticeable throughout the text. Increasing the accuracy of your complex structures and proofreading for minor grammatical slips will help improve your score.

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