Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In the modern era, physical appearance is increasingly prioritized over knowledge and personal development among the younger generation. This shift is primarily driven by the widespread accessibility of cosmetic products, fueled by advancements in medical procedures and international trade. While the beauty industry offers accessibility and flexible payment options, the unguided use of these products poses severe health and financial risks.

On the positive side, global supply chains have made cosmetic treatments and skincare products available in virtually every market. In countries like India, specialized dermatological clinics and cosmetic surgery facilities are now widely accessible in urban areas. Furthermore, high-profile medical treatments have become far more affordable for young consumers due to flexible installment plans, allowing individuals to pay for procedures over time rather than upfront.

Conversely, this trend carries significant drawbacks that consumers frequently overlook. First, many mass-produced cosmetic products contain harmful chemical ingredients, which can cause severe dermatological damage and chronic health issues when used without medical guidance. Additionally, young people—particularly women—often spend a disproportionate amount of their income on high-end beauty products and imported cosmetics. Driven by aggressive marketing, this excessive spending can lead to severe financial strain.

In conclusion, while the availability of facial enhancements and cosmetic products allows individuals to improve their self-confidence, consumers must remain cautious. Without proper awareness of health risks and financial management, young people risk falling victim to the dangerous side effects of this appearance-driven culture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the beauty industry. However, the essay falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which limits the depth of the arguments. While the ideas are relevant, the development is somewhat constrained by the length. The position is clear throughout, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. To reach a higher band, the student should expand on the examples provided, such as the mention of India or the financial impact, to ensure a more thorough exploration of the topic and meet the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'On the positive side', 'Furthermore', and 'Conversely' are used effectively to link ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the benefits from the drawbacks. The flow is smooth, and the referencing is clear throughout the text. The structure is sound, though further development of the points would enhance the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 7.0

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and precise for the topic. Phrases like 'widespread accessibility', 'specialized dermatological clinics', and 'disproportionate amount of their income' demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. There is an attempt to use more sophisticated language, and the word choice is mostly accurate. There are no significant spelling or word-choice errors that impede communication. To improve, the student could incorporate a wider variety of topic-specific collocations or more nuanced academic vocabulary to demonstrate greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The writing displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. The grammar is generally accurate, with very few errors. Examples of complex structures include 'While the beauty industry offers accessibility..., the unguided use of these products poses...' and 'Driven by aggressive marketing, this excessive spending can lead to...'. Punctuation is used correctly, and the sentences are well-constructed. The control over grammar is consistent, and the minor errors do not interfere with the clarity of the message. The range of structures is sufficient for this level.

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