Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era people like to stay up to date with their beauty and fashion. Due to the advancement of the technology now people are able to purchased expensive products and able to afford skin treatments. This has both merits and demerits. I will explain both the sides in details in the ensuing paragraphs.

On the good sides, first of all, people can now afford product and therapy easily with high remuneration jobs. Initially, people are doing skin assessment with the help of AI media and finding products according to their skin type so it has become more convenient now to buy product. For example, retinol, collagen, and salicyclic acid for better skin. Furthermore, regarding the treatment, with the advanced machines they opt the skin therapies like laser hair removal, microneedling for improving the barrier of the skin, and face brighting with facials.

However, there ares some downsides too. Firstly, there are more chances of skin damage. In a long-term plan, people might be suffer from the side effects of the heavy treatment. As those doses are with the higher intensity, it gradually damage the all skin layers and create other skin disease. For instance, skin burn, cancer, eczema, malasma, and dullness of the skin. As a result, natural glow of the skin fades and they have to reliable on medicines and dermetologists.

To conclude, buying products and skin treatment become more affordable due to high paid jobs and also due to its convenience. While on the negative side, these treatments create damage on the skin layers and developing the skin diseases like eczema, cancer, skin burn and malasma.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument, discussing the convenience of modern beauty products and treatments alongside the potential health risks. The position is clear throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention specific products like 'retinol' and 'salicyclic acid', the explanation of why these are beneficial is brief. Similarly, the negative impacts are listed as a series of medical conditions rather than being fully explored in terms of societal or psychological implications. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by a more detailed explanation or a more specific, personal example to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'first of all', 'furthermore', 'however', and 'to conclude' to signal the progression of your argument. While the structure is functional, the flow between sentences can be slightly mechanical. Some transitions feel repetitive, and the relationship between ideas could be strengthened by using a wider variety of linking words or referencing techniques. Overall, the information is easy to follow, and the paragraphing is appropriate for the task.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including topic-specific terms like 'remuneration', 'microneedling', and 'dermatologists'. However, there are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'face brighting' instead of 'skin brightening' and 'reliable on' instead of 'reliant on'. Additionally, some phrasing is slightly unnatural, such as 'people are doing skin assessment'. To improve, focus on learning the correct word forms and collocations associated with the vocabulary you are using. Expanding your range to include more precise academic synonyms would also help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'people are able to purchased' (should be 'purchase'), 'people might be suffer' (should be 'might suffer'), and 'they have to reliable on' (should be 'they have to rely on'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, but subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency need more attention. To achieve a higher band, you should aim for greater accuracy in your complex structures and ensure that your verb forms are consistently correct throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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