Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

These days, People are more aware about overall look including face treatments, body surgery and many more product available in market. These products are easily available at home with one click of finger. However, I am partially agree with this product and treatments are available that could change looks of any ages of people.

Firstly, It I would discuss about huge market of cosmetic products which is simple look change and makes people little young. However, little elder generation are moving towards cosmetic surgery that could change look of people. People who are engaged with entertaining industry are taking support of these type of treatment. These would boast their career. But one more For an example who can not effort surgery are making for weight lose treatment also help them to their earning source, so It is changing the situation accordng to person and situation of life.

Initiating with the most factor, these type of treatments may cause of side effect in body such as skin cancer. continuously losing weight losing treatment caning heart attack issue. over usage of simple product also has negative effect on skin such as rashish. Every situation has to search all aspects of any poduct they are going to use. Also have to research of any treatment negative sides.

Not only that but every coin has two sides of positive and negative. similarly this product also has good thing. However we have to move ahead and use product after look into their impidience of effect on skin. lastly, we can not use has to use any product or pay treatments that would causing expensive to our health.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of anti-aging products and treatments. However, the position is not consistently clear; the introduction states a 'partial agreement' but the body paragraphs struggle to articulate a cohesive argument. Ideas are present but often under-developed or confusingly expressed, such as the link between weight loss treatments and 'earning sources'. The response lacks a strong, central thesis that guides the reader through the argument. To improve, you should ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly answers whether this trend is a 'good' or 'bad' thing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Firstly', 'However', 'Lastly'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or do not logically connect the ideas. For instance, the transition 'Initiating with the most factor' is non-standard and confusing. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult to follow the progression of your argument. To improve, focus on using transition words that accurately reflect the relationship between your sentences, such as 'consequently' for results or 'furthermore' for adding information.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and non-standard collocations, such as 'boast their career' (likely meaning 'boost') and 'impidience of effect' (which is unclear). Spelling errors like 'rashish' and 'accordng' also detract from the quality of the writing. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. You should focus on learning common collocations and ensuring you use words in their correct context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'People are more aware about overall look'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, such as 'For an example who can not effort surgery are making for weight lose treatment'. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are often inaccurate, leading to confusion. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and pluralization.

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