Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent years, many people like to invest money on beauty products for look younger, although others prefer to laser treatments. This trend, has both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss benefit is self-satsifaction, drawback is health issues.
On the one hand, many people buying beauty cosmetics help them to not only look graceful and young but also it gives more self-satisfcation. Moreover, first they are investing money on products around seven months, if they will not get any improvements then they are going for laser treatment or botox treatment. For instance, in London, in this innovative technology they establish many beauty product companies, particularly, elderly people because they want to look stylish and young. Therefore, this current era give them to feel ecstatic.
On the other hand, this culture has significant drawback on peoples' health. These cosmetic products contains chemicals this will impact on skin.Many people are suffering with allergies and internal organal issues because of using these beauty products. Furthermore, they continuously taking treatment due to impact their digestive system and internal organs damage. For example, many people unnecessary impact on socisl media to look young which is why they are spending more money on products.
In conclusion,many people like to invest money on beauty products for look younger, although others prefer to laser treatments. This trend, has both advantages and disadvantages. In this essay, I will discuss benefit is self-satsifaction, drawback is health issues.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of anti-aging products. However, the essay fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the development of ideas. While the position is clear, the arguments are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The conclusion is a near-verbatim repetition of the introduction, which does not add value or synthesize the arguments effectively. To improve, you should expand on your points with more specific examples and ensure the conclusion provides a summary of the main ideas rather than just restating the introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'For instance' and 'Furthermore'. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the lack of variety in linking words makes the flow feel disjointed. Additionally, the conclusion is redundant, which hinders the overall logical progression of the essay. Improving the use of a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring that each paragraph develops a distinct, logical point would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'invest money on beauty products for look younger' and 'internal organal issues'. The range of vocabulary is limited, and there is a reliance on basic terms. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on learning collocations and more sophisticated vocabulary related to health and aesthetics, while also ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('this current era give them'), incorrect preposition usage ('invest money on'), and awkward sentence structures ('many people unnecessary impact on socisl media'). While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are often marred by errors. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures before attempting more complex ones, and pay close attention to verb forms and the correct use of articles and prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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