Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is an ongoing debate regarding people who are using money on beauty products or aesthetic treatments to look young. A lot of people are attracted to cosmetic treatments and choose to spend money because it is human nature to always look young and beautiful. While many people cannot afford to eat properly, I believe this a negative development to spend unnecessarily on this materialistic approach.

In an era of rising inflation, where people are struggling to meet ends, many choose to pay for products and treatments that will help them to look younger. During the past few years the field of aesthetics is growing quickly and has gathered the attention of many people. For example, there are different types of treatments like hydra or vampire facials that can tighten pores, help the skin to glow or remove fat from the face. Some techniques can lighten your skin tone while others can change the shape of the nose, lips or eyebrows. Although all of these procedures help to rejuvenate skin and bring youthfulness, they are highly expensive with some major side effects. For example, Michael Jackson underwent many cosmetic surgeries to change his looks and experienced severe mental, physical and medical effects.

In recent times, many celebrities and high profile individuals are engaged in cosmetic procedures like facial enhancements and body contouring. This affects society negatively by promoting superficial standards of beauty. For example, many fashion conscious people opt to follow these famous personalities and spend a lot of money just to improve their physical appearance.

To conclude, this trend has negatively influenced people by promoting superficial standards of beauty. It is very unfair to spend money on such treatments which have physical health risks and potential emotional challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, clearly stating your position that this is a negative development. Your ideas are relevant, particularly regarding the economic and social pressures associated with aesthetic treatments. However, the development of these ideas could be more nuanced. For instance, while you mention the financial burden, you could further explore the psychological drivers beyond just 'human nature' to reach a higher band. The example of Michael Jackson is a bit dated and perhaps overly specific; focusing on broader societal trends would strengthen your argument. Overall, your position is consistent and well-supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'In an era of', 'For example', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the jump from discussing specific facial treatments to the example of Michael Jackson is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and each paragraph has a clear central theme. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that the relationship between ideas is more explicitly stated.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'aesthetic treatments', 'rejuvenate skin', and 'superficial standards of beauty' are well-chosen and appropriate for the context. There are some minor issues with collocation, such as 'using money on' (better: 'spending money on') and 'meet ends' (idiomatically: 'make ends meet'). While you attempt some less common vocabulary, there is room to incorporate more sophisticated academic collocations to elevate the tone. The vocabulary is generally accurate and does not impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several error-free sentences, which is positive. However, there are some grammatical slips, such as 'I believe this a negative development to spend' (should be 'I believe spending... is a negative development') and 'the field of aesthetics is growing' (should be 'has been growing'). Punctuation is generally correct, though some sentences could be refined for better clarity. You have a good grasp of basic grammar, but to reach a higher band, you should aim for more consistent control over complex structures and ensure subject-verb agreement is always accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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