Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is an ongoing debate regarding people who are spending money on beauty products or aesthetic treatments to look young. A lot of people are attracted to cosmetic treatments and choose to spend money because it is human nature to always look young and beautiful. While many people cannot afford to eat properly, I believe this is a negative development to spend unnecessarily on this materialistic approach.

In an era of rising inflation, where people are struggling to make ends meet, many choose to pay for products and treatments that will help them to look younger. During the past few years the field of aesthetics has been growing quickly and has gathered the attention of many people. For example, there are different types of treatments like hydra or vampire facials that can tighten pores, help the skin to glow or remove fat from the face. Some techniques can lighten your skin tone while others can change the shape of the nose, lips or eyebrows. Although all of these procedures help to rejuvenate skin and bring youthfulness, they are highly expensive with some major side effects. For example, Michael Jackson underwent many cosmetic surgeries to change his looks and experienced severe mental, physical and medical effects.

In recent times, many celebrities and high profile individuals are engaged in cosmetic procedures like facial enhancements and body contouring. This affects society negatively by promoting superficial standards of beauty. For example, many fashion conscious people opt to follow these famous personalities and spend a lot of money just to improve their physical appearance.

To conclude, this trend has negatively influenced people by promoting superficial standards of beauty. It is very unfair to spend money on such treatments which have physical health risks and potential emotional challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position that the trend is a negative development. The ideas are relevant and supported by examples, such as the mention of specific cosmetic procedures and the reference to Michael Jackson. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited; the argument could be strengthened by exploring the psychological motivations behind these trends more deeply or discussing the potential benefits (such as increased confidence) to provide a more balanced perspective before refuting them. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main argument, though it remains slightly repetitive of the introduction.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, such as the growth of the aesthetics industry and the societal impact of celebrity culture. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'For example', 'Although', and 'In recent times', which help guide the reader. However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to better connect the physical risks of surgery with the societal pressure mentioned later. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task and allows for some precision, such as 'aesthetic treatments', 'rejuvenate', and 'body contouring'. There is an attempt to use less common items, which is successful. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'spend unnecessarily on this materialistic approach' (which is slightly awkward) and 'gathered the attention of many people' (where 'attracted the attention' would be more natural). The range is adequate to convey the intended meaning clearly, but it lacks the sophistication required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several error-free sentences, such as 'In an era of rising inflation, where people are struggling to make ends meet, many choose to pay for products and treatments that will help them to look younger.' However, there are occasional grammatical slips, such as 'it is a negative development to spend unnecessarily' (where the structure is slightly clunky) and minor punctuation issues. The control of grammar is generally good, and errors do not impede communication, but a wider variety of complex structures with greater accuracy would be needed for a higher band.

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