Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is an ongoing debate regarding people who like to spend money on beauty products or aesthetic treatments to look young. A lot of people are attracted to cosmetic treatments and choose to spend money because it is human nature to always look young and beautiful. While many people cannot afford to eat properly, I believe this is a negative development to spend unnecessarily on this materialistic approach.

In an era of rising inflation, where people are struggling to make ends meet, many choose to pay for products and treatments that will help them to look younger. During the past few years the field of aesthetics has been growing quickly and has gathered the attention of many people. For example, there are different types of treatments like hydra or vampire facials that can tighten pores, help the skin to glow or remove fat from the face. Some techniques can lighten your skin tone while others can change the shape of the nose, lips or eyebrows. Although all of these procedures help to rejuvenate skin and bring youthfulness, they are highly expensive with some major side effects. For example, Michael Jackson underwent many cosmetic surgeries to change his looks and experienced severe mental, physical and medical effects.

In recent times, many celebrities and high-profile individuals are engaged in cosmetic procedures like facial enhancements and body contouring. This affects society negatively by promoting superficial standards of beauty. For example, many fashion-conscious people opt to follow these famous personalities and spend a lot of money just to improve their physical appearance.

To conclude, this trend has negatively influenced people by promoting superficial standards of beauty. It is very unjustifiable to spend money on such treatments which have physical health risks and potential emotional challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a negative position from the introduction. The ideas are relevant, such as the economic argument regarding inflation and the social impact of celebrity culture. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the example of Michael Jackson is specific, the discussion on 'hydra or vampire facials' is a list of features rather than a deep exploration of the implications. To reach a higher band, the argument could be strengthened by further explaining the link between these treatments and the 'unjustifiable' nature of the spending, perhaps by contrasting it more deeply with essential needs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'In an era of', 'For example', and 'To conclude', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between the economic argument in the second paragraph and the social argument in the third could be smoother. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is generally clear throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient to convey the message clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'aesthetic treatments', 'rejuvenate', and 'superficial standards'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler phrasing (e.g., 'spend money' is repeated several times). To improve, try to incorporate more varied collocations and precise academic vocabulary to express your ideas with more sophistication. The word choice is generally accurate, and there are no spelling errors that impede communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, and the meaning is always clear. You use complex structures, such as 'While many people cannot afford to eat properly, I believe...', effectively. However, there are occasional minor errors, such as 'it is a negative development to spend unnecessarily' (which is slightly awkward phrasing) and 'the field of aesthetics has been growing'. While these do not impede communication, more consistent control over complex structures would be required for a higher band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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