Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is an ongoing debate regarding people who like to spend money on beauty products or aesthetic treatments to look young. A lot of people are attracted to cosmetic treatments and choose to spend money because it is human nature to always look young and beautiful. While many people cannot afford to eat properly, I believe spending money unnecessarily on this materialistic approach is a negative development

In an era of rising inflation, where people are struggling to make ends meet, many choose to pay for products and treatments that will help them to look younger. During the past few years the field of aesthetics has been growing quickly and has gathered the attention of many people. For example, there are different types of treatments like hydra or vampire facials that can tighten pores, help the skin to glow or remove fat from the face. Some techniques can lighten your skin tone while others can change the shape of the nose, lips or eyebrows. Although all of these procedures help to rejuvenate skin and bring youthfulness, they are highly expensive with some major side effects. For example, Michael Jackson underwent many cosmetic surgeries to change his looks and experienced severe mental, physical and medical effects.

In recent times, many celebrities and high-profile individuals are engaged in cosmetic procedures like facial enhancements and body contouring. This affects society negatively by promoting superficial standards of beauty. For example, many fashion-conscious people opt to follow these famous personalities and spend a lot of money just to improve their physical appearance.

To conclude, this trend has negatively influenced people by promoting superficial standards of beauty. It is unjustifiable to spend money on such treatments which have physical health risks and potential emotional challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt clearly, taking a firm stance that the trend is a negative development. You have provided relevant reasons, such as the financial burden and the promotion of superficial beauty standards. The inclusion of examples, like the mention of specific facial treatments and the reference to Michael Jackson, helps to support your arguments. To reach a higher band, you could further develop the 'why' behind your position by exploring the psychological impact on society in more depth, rather than just listing the negative effects. Overall, the position is consistent and the main ideas are relevant to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'In recent times' and 'To conclude', to transition between ideas. However, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and referencing to avoid repetitive structures. At times, the connection between the financial struggle mentioned in the introduction and the subsequent discussion of cosmetic procedures could be more explicitly linked to strengthen the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'aesthetic treatments', 'rejuvenate skin', and 'superficial standards of beauty' are well-chosen and appropriate for the context. There are occasional instances where word choice could be more natural, such as 'hydra or vampire facials' which are specific but could be integrated more smoothly. While you avoid basic errors, incorporating more sophisticated collocations or idiomatic expressions would elevate the lexical quality. The vocabulary used is adequate to convey your meaning clearly throughout the response.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are clear and grammatically sound, which ensures that communication is never impeded. You show good control over basic grammar, though there are minor slips, such as 'A lot of people are attracted to cosmetic treatments and choose to spend money because it is human nature to always look young'. While the meaning is clear, the sentence structure could be more varied. To achieve a higher band, aim to incorporate more complex grammatical forms, such as conditional sentences or passive voice constructions, with greater consistency and fewer minor errors.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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