Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is an ongoing debate regarding people who like to spend money on beauty products or aesthetic treatments to look young. A lot of people are attracted to cosmetic treatments and choose to spend money because it is human nature to always look young and beautiful. While many people cannot afford to eat properly, I believe spending money unnecessarily on this materialistic approach is a development.

In an era of rising inflation, where people are struggling to make ends meet, many choose to pay for products and treatments that will help them to look younger. During the past few years the field of aesthetics has been growing quickly and has gathered the attention of many people. For example, there are different types of treatments like hydra or vampire facials that can tighten pores, help the skin to glow or remove fat from the face. Some techniques can lighten your skin tone while others can change the shape of the nose, lips or eyebrows. Although all of these procedures help to rejuvenate skin and bring youthfulness, they are highly expensive with some major side effects. For example, Michael Jackson underwent many cosmetic surgeries to change his looks and experienced severe mental, physical and medical effects.

In recent times, many celebrities and high-profile individuals are engaged in cosmetic procedures like facial enhancements and body contouring. This affects society negatively by promoting unrealistic standards of beauty. For example, many fashion-conscious people opt to follow these famous personalities and spend a lot of money just to improve their physical appearance.

To conclude, this trend has negatively influenced people by promoting unrealistic standards of beauty. It is unjustifiable to spend money on such treatments which have physical health risks and potential emotional challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have addressed all parts of the task by providing a clear position that the trend is negative. Your ideas are relevant, particularly regarding the financial burden and the promotion of unrealistic beauty standards. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. While you provide examples like 'vampire facials' and the mention of Michael Jackson, the explanation of why these are 'bad' could be more deeply explored beyond just the financial and health aspects. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are fully extended to demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the societal implications of this trend.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'In an era of', 'For example', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For instance, the jump from discussing inflation to specific facial treatments is a bit abrupt. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and each paragraph has a central theme. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical progression between sentences is more seamless.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'aesthetics', 'rejuvenate', 'high-profile', and 'contouring' effectively. There are some minor issues with collocation and word choice, such as 'is a development' in the introduction, which is vague and does not clearly convey your stance. You also use 'materialistic approach' appropriately. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid slightly repetitive phrasing. Your spelling is accurate throughout, and your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly without any significant ambiguity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'spending money unnecessarily on this materialistic approach is a development' (which lacks a clear adjective or noun to complete the thought) and 'the field of aesthetics has been growing quickly and has gathered the attention of many people'. While these errors do not impede communication, they do limit the precision of your writing. You have good control over punctuation, and your sentence variety is decent. To improve, focus on refining complex structures and ensuring that your subject-verb agreement and word order are consistently accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.