Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

There is an ongoing debate regarding people who like to spend money on beauty products or aesthetic treatments to look young. A lot of people are attracted to cosmetic treatments, and choose to spend money because it is human nature to always look young and beautiful. While many people cannot afford to eat properly, I believe spending money unnecessarily on this materialistic approach is a negative development.

In an era of rising inflation, where people are struggling to make ends meet, many choose to pay for products and treatments that will help them to look younger. During the past few years the field of aesthetics has been growing quickly and has gathered the attention of many people. For example, there are different types of treatments like hydra or vampire facials that can tighten pores, help the skin to glow or remove fat from the face. Some techniques can lighten your skin tone while others can change the shape of the nose, lips or eyebrows. Although all of these procedures help to rejuvenate skin and bring youthfulness, they are highly expensive with some major side effects. For example, Michael Jackson underwent many cosmetic surgeries to change his looks and experienced severe mental, physical and medical effects.

In recent times, many celebrities and high-profile individuals are engaged in cosmetic procedures like facial enhancements and body contouring. This affects society negatively by promoting unrealistic standards of beauty. For example, many fashion-conscious people opt to follow these famous personalities and spend a lot of money just to improve their physical appearance.

To conclude, this trend has negatively influenced people by promoting unrealistic standards of beauty. It is unjustifiable to spend money on such treatments which have physical health risks and potential emotional challenges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the task and maintains a clear position throughout. You have successfully identified the topic and provided a consistent argument that the trend is a negative development. The ideas are relevant, such as the economic burden and the promotion of unrealistic beauty standards. However, the development of these ideas could be more nuanced. For instance, while you mention the negative impact on society, you could further explore the psychological aspects or the societal pressure in more depth to reach a higher band. The example of Michael Jackson is relevant but could be integrated more smoothly into the argument regarding the risks of cosmetic procedures.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices effectively, such as 'In an era of,' 'For example,' and 'To conclude.' However, the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother to improve the flow. Some of the cohesive links are a bit mechanical, and the progression of ideas could be more sophisticated to achieve a higher score. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and the structure supports the argument well.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'aesthetic treatments,' 'rejuvenate skin,' and 'unrealistic standards of beauty' are well-chosen and appropriate for the context. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'materialistic approach' which is slightly imprecise in this context. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited. To improve, try to incorporate more varied collocations and idiomatic expressions related to the topic of beauty and consumerism to show greater flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most of your sentences are clear and easy to follow, and the grammar is generally accurate. There are occasional errors, such as 'people who like to spend money' (which could be more concise) and minor punctuation issues. You have good control over basic grammar, but the range of complex structures is somewhat limited. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more varied sentence patterns, such as conditional clauses or passive voice, while ensuring they remain error-free.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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