Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the modern era, there are numerous products and treatments available which help people look younger. In my view, although young looks may boost confidence of individual ,it is generally a negative development as it may create financial instability and set unrealistic expectations of staying young throught the life.
As nowadays looks and personality have a considerable value in people's life thus looking young might boost individuals confidence. However, maintaining these effects requires regular treatment and use of products, which may have detrimental consequences on financial stability as most of these products or treatment are over priced. For example if a person uses a anti-aging cream can make him look younger but daily application requires frequent purchase of product, which cost substantial amount of money.
Even after sepending fortune on these products the effects are not life long and may create unrealistic expectations of being young throught the life. As aging is a scientific process it will eventually take place no mater what treatments or products people apply as a result people will look old shattering people's dream of staying young.
To conclude, dispite spending substantial amount of money in anti-aging treatment and products, that will boot confidence, but results are for very short time nature will turn people old creating unrealistic expectation amoung consumers.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the argument. While the main points regarding financial instability and unrealistic expectations are relevant, they are not fully developed. The conclusion is somewhat repetitive and does not add new insight. To improve, you should expand on your examples and provide more detailed reasoning to meet the length requirement, which would allow for a more comprehensive exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'however', 'for example', and 'to conclude'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the awkward phrasing in the final sentence. The referencing is generally clear, but the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally would help elevate your score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'detrimental consequences', 'financial instability', and 'unrealistic expectations'. However, there are several spelling errors ('sepending', 'throught', 'mater', 'dispite', 'amoung') and minor collocation issues ('boot confidence' instead of 'boost'). The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but the frequent spelling mistakes and lack of more sophisticated, precise lexical choices prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading and learning collocations will help you improve.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, such as missing articles ('a anti-aging cream'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing ('results are for very short time'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally impede the flow of reading. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, particularly the use of articles and prepositions, and ensure that your complex sentences are grammatically sound.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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