Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-06

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, it becomes common for many people to spend their money on beauty products or pay for treatments that helps them look younger. According to my opinions it is a bad thing as people waste their money and sometimes feel under confidence because of these treatments. This essay will discuss the negative impacts of beauty products on people.

To begin with, there are numerous cons of beauty treatments that people are using. The most important one to be considered is that these products consume a lot of money. People work more and try to save money from their everyday expenses to buy those expensive products. Sometimes individuals compromise with their regular diet to take beauty treatments. One another reason is that when people saw others who took that treatment then they start doubting their own appearance and wants to take same products to look pretty.

Apart from that, there are many other prevalent factors that shows the negative impacts of skin treatments and beauty products such as health problems and impact their own confidence. Eventually, it can have negative impacts on people health or skin. Some people have allergies from many kinds of chemicals, but they just ignore them to look prettier and after some time may suffer from serious health problems. In addition to this, many people start feeling low and do not want to interact with anyone because they lose their confidence after watching too much adds of beautiful actors who promote the skin treatments.

To conclude, I believe that these treatments have plethora of bad impacts on people not only because of money and confidence, but also because of serious health issues.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. The ideas are relevant, focusing on financial strain, psychological impact, and health risks. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'confidence' is mentioned in multiple paragraphs but remains repetitive rather than deeply explored. To reach a higher band, you should provide more specific examples or nuanced reasoning to support your claims. While the task is fully addressed, the depth of the argument is limited, which is characteristic of a Band 6 response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Apart from that', and 'In addition to this' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'One another reason is that'. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'One another reason is that when people saw others who took that treatment then they start doubting their own appearance'. Improving the variety and flow of your linking words would enhance the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'prevalent', 'plethora', and 'compromise'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and minor collocation errors, such as 'feel under confidence' (should be 'lack confidence') and 'watching too much adds' (should be 'advertisements'). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. Focusing on learning common collocations and refining your word choice will help you improve this score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('treatments that helps', 'factors that shows'), article misuse, and tense inconsistencies ('when people saw others... they start doubting'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring consistent verb tenses throughout your paragraphs. A greater variety of error-free complex structures is needed to move into the 7.0 band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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