Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In this contemporary era, people has become more cautious about how they look. Cosmetics, artificial products and treatments are easily accessible that helps them to look less older than their actual age. It is a good thing in many ways.

To begin with, one of the primary reason is professional growth in an entertainment industry. visual appearance is extremely important for the professionals to sustain the industry. Most of the time, they have to experiment with their looks as per the demand of the script and their character. Therefore, availability of these products helps to get the desired results in more efficient ways.

Moreover, some people wants to look younger for personal satisfaction. In the past, home remedies were quite common, when these treatments were not easily available. Sometimes, women use some products that might be harmful for their health because of the lack of knowledge and products in the market. Now, people go to dermatologist and ask for their guidance before any treatment which gives the best result.

However, there are some people who completely rely on the treatments and products rather than maintaining a healthy lifestyle. These products are not always beneficial. It is important to have a balance lifestyle, such as eating balanced diet and exercise on daily basis for the better results.

In conclusion, although there are some bad impacts of this trend on the society, overall its a good way to look young. It will not only build their professional career, but also boost their confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of anti-aging products and treatments. You clearly state your position that it is a 'good thing' in the introduction and conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about professional growth in the entertainment industry is relevant but could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The discussion on personal satisfaction is also a bit brief. To reach a higher band, ensure that each main point is fully extended with more detailed explanations or illustrative examples to demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the argument. You use transition words such as 'To begin with', 'Moreover', 'However', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your points. While the structure is sound, the flow between some sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the discussion of home remedies and the role of dermatologists is slightly abrupt. Additionally, ensure that referencing is always clear; for instance, in the second paragraph, 'these products' refers back to the previous sentence, which is handled well. Overall, the paragraphing is appropriate and the progression of ideas is logical.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary era', 'dermatologist', and 'professional growth'. There are some minor inaccuracies, such as 'look less older', which should be 'look younger' or 'look less old'. You also use 'balance lifestyle' instead of 'balanced lifestyle'. While you successfully convey your meaning, the vocabulary is somewhat functional and lacks the precision or sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more precise collocations and avoid repetitive phrasing. Expanding your range to include more topic-specific academic vocabulary would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several recurring grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of your writing. For example, subject-verb agreement issues are present: 'people has become' should be 'people have become', and 'some people wants' should be 'some people want'. Additionally, there are minor errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'in an entertainment industry' (should be 'the') and 'go to dermatologist' (should be 'a dermatologist'). While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage.

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