Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, science and technology has shown significant growth. Medical developments and techniques helped us to discover many treatments to look younger. There are several medicines and facial products are available in the market to stay young. From my perspective, it is a positive development as it allow people to stay motivate at any age of their life. This essay will discuss about its development on both sides.

Advancement in the healthcare allow people to build their confidence. It has been seen that working hours are longer than ever before and some people feel under pressure at work due to their appearance. This advancement in the technology help them to overcome from such fears. Moreover, people are giving more importance to their looks now and when individuals represent their company, it become common misperception to look good. Therefore, they often go through medical surgery.

Conversely, some people believe that it could have negative consequences in long term. Some treatments have not given enough time during their experiments. Therefore, there are chances of failure during or after the treatment which could end someone's life. Moreover, natural products which does not have any harmful impact should be allowed as they are helpful to build confidence. Government and authorities should have taken steps whether some operation should be allowed or not.

To sum up, it should be individuals choices whether they would like to go through treatment or not. However, experiments related to such treatment must have done before it implement on any human being. I personally believe that some products and treatments really help society to stay motivated to work for longer periods of time.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'working hours' and 'fear' is a bit vague and could have been supported with more concrete examples. While the essay covers the prompt, the discussion on the negative consequences is slightly repetitive and lacks depth. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with specific explanations or illustrative examples rather than general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. Cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Conversely', and 'To sum up' are used to guide the reader. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some transitions feel a bit forced. Referencing is generally clear, but the connection between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall progression of ideas is easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'consequences' and 'advancement', but the range is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive. Some word choices are slightly unnatural, such as 'overcome from such fears' (should be 'overcome such fears') and 'common misperception' (which does not fit the context of looking good). Improving the precision of word choice and collocation would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'science and technology has', 'advancement... allow', 'it become', 'products which does not'). These errors are noticeable but do not impede communication. The use of articles and prepositions is also inconsistent. While the writer attempts complex structures, the control over them is not yet consistent enough for a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic agreement errors would significantly improve the accuracy.

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