Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Indubitably, advanced age combating technology and treatments are becoming popular these days. Many people easily afford expensive treatments and products that assist their skin to look younger. I strongly believe that spending on such treatments would be a highly detrimental approach.

The primary reason for this is higher dependency on expensive cosmetic treatments and influencing common people. To explain, rich people invest a substantial proportion of their income on high end treatments while neglecting the benefits of natural beauty they become conscious regarding their face and opt for expensive products, while manipulating common people by showing good skin achieved by such treatments. To exemplify, actors or social media influencers spend on face lift, nose-job, laser treatments to look young and appealing, hence avoiding budget friendly natural cosmetic products. Consequently, under influence common people also tend to buy these products and treatments.

Another striking reason is negative effect of advanced treatments on body leading to health issues. Despite the fact, people know how these anti aging or body contouring treatments adversely affect in long run giving rise to adverse health problems, they still spend thousands on these products. For instance, laser treatments, age combat creams have proven record of releasing toxic substances in skin due to the heat radiations and scientific ingredients causing health issues such as skin cancer. Therefore, giving rise to various health issues and long term issues.

To conclude, Investing in such treatments not only creates a strong negative influence on common people financially, but also it leads to adverse health problems in future. Hence, people should invest in natural and ayurvedic treatments to look more younger, while having a healthy skin.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

You have clearly addressed the prompt by taking a firm stance that these treatments are detrimental. You provide two main arguments: the negative social influence of influencers and the potential health risks. While the ideas are relevant, they could be more fully developed. For instance, the link between 'influencing common people' and the actual negative outcome could be explained with more nuance. The conclusion effectively summarizes your position. Overall, you have fulfilled all requirements of the task by providing a clear position and supporting it with relevant, albeit slightly generalized, arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'The primary reason for this', 'To exemplify', and 'To conclude' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as in the sentence 'Despite the fact, people know how these anti aging... treatments adversely affect in long run', where the flow is slightly interrupted by awkward phrasing. Nevertheless, the progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'indubitably', 'detrimental', 'manipulating', and 'adversely'. There are some minor inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'age combating technology' (better: 'anti-aging technology') and 'look more younger' (a grammatical error, but also a lexical redundancy). You attempt to use less common vocabulary, which is good, but ensure that these terms are used in their most natural context to improve precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include 'neglecting the benefits of natural beauty they become conscious' (run-on sentence), 'adversely affect in long run' (missing article), and 'look more younger' (incorrect comparative structure). These errors do not impede communication, but they do prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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