Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, everyone wants to look pretty. For this, they spend money on products and treatments to enhance their beauty. In my opinion, it is a bad thing. I will discuss the reasons behind this notion in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, one of the major disadvantages is that it creates unnecessary pressure on people to look young. To explain, they are encouraging from the social media and celebrities. They feel less satisfied with their natural appearance. Hence, they spend money on anti-aging products or undergo cosmetic procedures. For example, many people compare themselves with edited photographs of celebrities online and become unhappy with their appearance.

Another significant reason is that anti-aging can cause financial and health problems. To elaborate, cosmetic procedures such as botox, filler can be expensive. Every person cannot afford the cost of those procedures. Moreover, some treatments may also have side effects or complications. As a result, they suffer from the skin problems like allergies and rashes. And they will suffer financial loss. For instance, persons spend thousands of dollars on cosmetic treatments which can create the financial stress and may also affect their health.

In conclusion, I believe that the availability of the products and treatments that help people look younger is a negative development beacuse it can create social pressure, reduce self-confidence, and health problems.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. However, the response is significantly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the arguments provided. While the ideas regarding social pressure and financial/health risks are relevant, they are somewhat underdeveloped due to the brevity of the response. To improve, you should expand on your examples and provide more detailed analysis to ensure the response is fully developed and meets the length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'To elaborate', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions could be more sophisticated. The progression of ideas is clear, but the overall structure feels slightly repetitive due to the limited length of the content.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'cosmetic procedures', 'anti-aging', and 'financial stress'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is some repetition of basic words like 'people' and 'money'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise synonyms and collocations, such as 'aesthetic enhancements' or 'detrimental consequences', to demonstrate a more sophisticated lexical range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'they are encouraging from the social media' (incorrect passive voice) and 'suffer from the skin problems' (unnecessary article). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and phrasing issues, such as 'beacuse' (spelling) and 'the financial stress'. Increasing the variety of complex structures while improving accuracy in articles and prepositions will help raise your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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