Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In the recent times, everyone wants to look perfect and good looking wherever they go. It seems believable for individuals to purchase several products or pay for their treatments that may help them to look handsome. It is a good thing, and it has various types of benefits, which will be discussed in upcoming paragraphs with relevant examples.
To begin with, there are several number of people who are using different types of products to look more attractive and younger, such as anti-aging creams, face mask, and face gel. These products are so convenient for anyone, who wants to maintaining their skin or body language. Secondly, humans who are doing face or body procedures to become more younger often feel happy and confident. For instant, the University of Toronto has revealed the data that 85% humans feel confident and strong when they use or apply any remedy for their younger appearance.
Moreover, if more and more humans are approaching skin care products, then it might create many jobs in cosmetic department, which can increase the economy and cosmetic businesses as well. Lastly, people are more focusing on their skin care and personality as compared to previous times, because youthful appearance can improve living standard at the same time. For example, if a person has good self confident with strong looking personality can easily achieve success in corporate world.
In summary, every topic has their own pros and cons in different areas. There are lots of advantages for having younger look. It can boost your confidence, it makes you happy, it can create several jobs in cosmetic sector, and it can improve living standards. It is a very important thing to look younger in every sense.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that looking younger is a positive development. The ideas are relevant, covering personal confidence, economic benefits, and professional success. However, the development of these points is somewhat superficial. For instance, the link between cosmetic procedures and 'body language' is unclear, and the economic argument is a bit generic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced analysis or deeper exploration of the implications of these trends rather than simply listing benefits. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, maintaining a consistent position throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'In summary' to guide the reader. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally repetitive. For example, the transition between the economic point and the professional success point feels abrupt. To improve, try to vary your linking words and ensure that the progression of ideas within paragraphs is smoother by using more sophisticated referencing and substitution techniques.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'cosmetic department', 'youthful appearance', and 'corporate world'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'body language' (which does not fit the context of skin treatments) and 'more younger' (which is grammatically incorrect). There is also a tendency to repeat basic words like 'humans' and 'good'. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of topic-specific vocabulary, while avoiding repetitive or slightly unnatural phrasing.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors that occasionally affect the flow of the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'there are several number of people'), incorrect comparative forms (e.g., 'more younger'), and article usage (e.g., 'in cosmetic department'). While these errors do not impede communication, they are persistent. To improve, focus on mastering the rules for comparatives and articles, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures, such as conditional clauses or passive voice, with greater accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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