Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

At the outside of new millenium, it has become feasible for individuals to purchase age reversing products and afford beauty treatments which may create youthful appearnce. In my view, it is a negative development as such products and treatments not only create unrealistic expectations among consumers but also has detrimental side effects in the long run.

The primary reason why recent practices in beauty industry are harmful for people is that it make consumers acquire unrealistic expectations. Since they are not equally efffective on everyone and the results may vary from person to person, many individuals struggle to accept their true aging features and continously seek expensive products and treatments. They begin to expect that they will retain their youthful appearance for long, however this is far from the reality. Thus, most of the treatments which promote age reversal ngatively effects psychological health.

Another significant factor is that numerous products are tested on animals before being launched in market for human use, which showcases the animal cruelity behind this beauty industry. In addition, many scientific studies have identified carcinogenic and toxic ingredients in such products. For example, a recent death case of famous bollywood actress reported she was on Glutathione beauty treatment and had a serious drug interaction which caused stroke and death. Thus, beauty products and treatments associated with age reversal have serious consequences on health.

In conclusion, although some herbal products have proven to be boon for beauty industry, most of the synthetic products and treatments are associated with false expectations and deleterious adverse effects. Therefore, in my view, blindly chasing products and treatments to look younger is undesirable for the physchological and physical health of the individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a negative position from the introduction. The ideas are relevant, focusing on psychological impact and physical safety. However, the development is somewhat uneven; while the point about unrealistic expectations is well-argued, the second paragraph shifts focus to animal testing and specific medical incidents, which feels slightly disjointed from the main argument about 'looking younger.' To reach a higher band, ensure that all supporting points directly reinforce the central thesis regarding the societal pressure to look youthful.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'The primary reason,' 'Another significant factor,' and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. Paragraphing is appropriate, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme. However, there are minor issues with referencing and flow; for instance, the transition between the general discussion of beauty products and the specific example of the Bollywood actress could be smoother to maintain a more cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally appropriate for the task, with attempts at more sophisticated terms like 'deleterious,' 'carcinogenic,' and 'feasible.' However, there are several spelling errors ('appearnce,' 'efffective,' 'cruelity,' 'physchological') and some awkward collocations ('At the outside of new millenium,' 'death case'). While these errors do not impede communication, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of word formation and spelling to reach a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('such products... has detrimental side effects,' 'it make consumers,' 'negatively effects') and article usage ('in beauty industry'). While the meaning is always clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on ensuring that verbs agree with their subjects and that articles are used correctly with singular countable nouns.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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