Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has observed that nowadays, individuals purchase numerous products and spend their money on dermatologist treatments, so that they can look younger regardless of their age. However, I believe this trend has more advantages than drawbacks which will be discussed along with reasons of this trend.

Commencing with the prominent benefit, people working in entertainment industry gets better work opportunities if they look less aged. In other words, most of these plastic surgeries either it is related to face fillers or body modifications these are done by celebrities, who face camera. Additionally, when they look young with flawless skin and attractive body they not only get better roles in movies but also get paid significant amount of money. For example, Kardashians family in USA most of the family member went through these treatments and now they look younger than their actual age and doing projects back to back in the Hollywood industry.

Another worth considering benefit is this boosts the confidence of individuals. To be specific, many people who work either in corporate or other sectors where they socialize on a daily basis, these facial treatments provide them clean, sharp, and confident look due to which they usually generate more productivity which result in better outcomes.

On the other hand, this trend can cause financial strain on middle-class public especially. Most importantly, many people buy expensive products such as facial serums, masks, and makeup products to look better which sometimes lead them into debts and imbalance their monthly budgets. For instance, a person who manages his own bills, buy expensive product out of his pocket can face problem in meeting their monthly needs.

One of the main reasons why this trend is increasing is because of social media and availability. Many companies promote their products as an advertisement in the beginning of movies and short videos and they target most common problems people are facing related to beauty, which influence the consumers to buy such products easily from online websites such as Amazon and Flipkart.

In conclusion, Although these treatments are beneficial for individuals who are wealthy and working in sectors where they face both media and colleagues, but this can be financial burden on individuals who lives on pay cheque to pay cheque lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages as requested. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are generally well-developed, such as the discussion on professional benefits and financial strain. However, the explanation of why this trend is increasing (social media) is slightly disconnected from the core 'good or bad' argument, though it remains relevant to the context. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that the reasons for the trend are more tightly integrated into the evaluation of whether it is a positive or negative development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized, with a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Paragraphing is used effectively to separate distinct points, such as professional benefits, psychological benefits, and financial drawbacks. Cohesive devices like 'Commencing with', 'Additionally', and 'On the other hand' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as in the sentence 'most of these plastic surgeries either it is related to face fillers...', where the structure is a bit clunky. Overall, the flow is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate and allows for the expression of ideas with reasonable precision. You use some topic-specific terms like 'dermatologist treatments', 'face fillers', and 'financial strain'. However, there are some inaccuracies in collocation and word choice, such as 'entertainment industry gets better work opportunities' (should be 'offers') and 'doing projects back to back' (informal). The range is sufficient for the task, but more sophisticated or idiomatic expressions would be needed to reach a higher band. Spelling is generally accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'most of the family member went', 'individuals who lives') and article usage (e.g., 'in entertainment industry'). Some sentences are slightly awkward, such as 'It has observed that nowadays', which should be passive voice ('It has been observed'). Despite these errors, they do not impede communication. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic agreement and ensuring consistent use of articles and prepositions.

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