Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It has been observed that nowadays, individuals purchase numerous products and spend their money on dermatological treatments, so that they can look younger regardless of their age. However, I believe that this trend has more advantages than drawbacks which will be discussed along with reasons of this trend in the following paragraphs.

Commencing with the prominent benefit, people working in the entertainment industry gets better work opportunities if they look less aged. In other words, most of these plastic surgeries either it is related to face fillers or body modifications these are done by celebrities, who face the camera. Additionally, when they look young with flawless skin and an attractive body they not only get better roles in movies but also get paid significant amount of money. For example, Kardashians family in USA most of the family members went through these treatments and now they look younger than their actual age and doing projects back to back in the Hollywood industry.

Another noteworthy benefit is that this boosts the confidence of individuals. To be specific, many people who work either in corporate or other sectors where they socialize on a daily basis, these facial treatments provide them clean, sharp, and confident look due to which they usually generate more productivity which results in better outcomes.

On the other hand, this trend can cause financial strain on middle-class people especially. Most importantly, many people buy expensive products such as facial serums, masks, and makeup products to look better which sometimes lead them into debt and imbalance their monthly budgets. For instance, a person who manages his own bills, buy expensive products out of his pocket can face problems in meeting their monthly needs.

One of the main reasons why this trend is increasing is because of social media and availability. Many companies promote their products through advertisement in the beginning of movies and short videos and they target most common problems people are facing related to beauty, which influences the consumers to buy such products easily from online websites such as Amazon and Flipkart.

In conclusion, Although these treatments are beneficial for individuals who are wealthy and working in sectors where they face both media and colleagues. However, this can be financial burden on individuals who live on pay cheque to pay cheque lifestyle.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages. The position is clear from the introduction. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While the benefits are explained, the discussion on the 'reasons' for the trend is slightly tacked on at the end rather than being integrated into the main body paragraphs. The examples provided, such as the Kardashian family, are relevant but could be more deeply analysed to support the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that all parts of the prompt are given equal weight and that the reasoning is fully explored throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate different ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Commencing with', 'Additionally', and 'On the other hand' are used to guide the reader. However, there are some instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or repetitive. For example, the transition between the discussion of benefits and the reasons for the trend feels a bit abrupt. Referencing is generally clear, but some sentences could be better linked to improve the overall flow and cohesion of the arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some topic-specific terms like 'dermatological treatments', 'face fillers', and 'body modifications'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'doing projects back to back' and 'imbalance their monthly budgets'. The range of vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, but it lacks the sophistication and precision required for a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding informal phrasing when discussing professional or financial contexts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('people... gets better', 'most of the family members went... and doing projects') and article usage. Some sentences are also slightly awkward, such as 'either it is related to face fillers or body modifications these are done by celebrities'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and sentence structure would significantly improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.