Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Due to an advancement in technologies, it has enabled individuals to look younger by purchasing product or consult professional dermatologist. I believe that this trend is mostly negative because there are several drawbacks of doing these treatments.

To begin with, certain numbers of people buy expensive products to look young. This is because of the advertisements of these products that show an unrealistic transformation of the celebrities through mass media platforms. For example, the advertisement of Fair and Lovely product, that shows before and after picture of the actor using these products, this pictures can be edited through numerous software and in real life, influencers will never use these items. Furthermore, People have to understand that it is actor's duty to look young in-front of their audience. Today's celebrities are highly paid due to their handsome or beautiful appearance, and they have to maintain that image among their fans to keep in media industry.

Apart from this, there are detrimental effects of using these products or paying for these treatments. Beauty products are made with combination of several chemicals, which can affect anyone in long term. There is some research done by beauty specialist has published in the magazine, that shows almost 50% of people who have use dermatologist treatment have an adverse effects on their body in long term such as liver problem, heart failure and skin cancer. For instance, popular actress of the Bollywood died at the age of 45 due to skin treatment that failed her heart. Last but not a least, however, not all the beaty products are bad, it is an individual's duty to do their own research as there are lots of information available online regarding anything.

In conclusion, although these products can make people younger, there are several disadvantages of using these products in terms of health relates problems and long term diseases, that's why it is definitely negative establishment.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the trend is negative. The ideas are relevant, focusing on unrealistic media portrayals and health risks. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding celebrities is clear, but the section on health risks relies on unsubstantiated claims (e.g., '50% of people' and the specific Bollywood example), which weakens the persuasiveness of the argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that examples are more grounded in general knowledge rather than potentially inaccurate statistics. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, maintaining the position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'To begin with,' 'Apart from this,' and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical or awkward, such as the transition in the final paragraph: 'Last but not a least, however, not all the beaty products are bad.' The referencing is generally clear, but some sentences feel slightly disjointed due to minor grammatical errors that affect the smooth progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinion clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'dermatologist,' 'detrimental effects,' and 'unrealistic transformation.' However, there are several spelling errors ('bety,' 'in-front') and minor collocation issues, such as 'negative establishment' (which is not a standard collocation in this context). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but more precise and varied vocabulary would be needed to reach a higher band level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the writer attempts complex sentences, there are frequent errors in articles, pluralization, and verb agreement (e.g., 'due to an advancement in technologies,' 'this pictures can be edited,' 'there is some research... has published'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some run-on sentences and comma splices. While these errors do not impede overall communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.

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