Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Buying numerous trendy products and paying plenty of money for treatments has become common among people to look younger than their age. I firmly believe that It has more disadvantages than advantages in certain ways.

One major negative aspect of spending a lot of money or receiving different types of treatments is financial crises might arise. Many people get under the influence of social media's celebrities. There is not any proof that they are using those product in actual or jut promoting for few money. Ordinary people try to look like them and unintentionally spend thousands dollars on unnecessary products, which could mess up their budgets and cause debt pressure.

In addition, detrimental skin allergies could be caused by few products. There is possibility that not every product is good and can suit every kind of skins. Sometimes people do not have in-depth knowledge of harmful reactions of chemicals, which are present in expensive cosmetology products. As a result, when they apply on face or any other part of body, they might feel burn or intense sensation. It could leads to chronic burn or a significant irritation on skin.

However, it could be a great opportunity for people to look more younger and have an excellent appearance, which would ultimately enhance their aplomb. By enhancing the confidence, people could be more productive at their work place or schools. Nevertheless, looking younger cannot lasts forever, therefore, spending ample of money is not that much worth.

To sum up, although confidence might be boosted by purchasing products and treatments, negative sides like financial and inevitable skin problems could arise.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the trend has more disadvantages than advantages. The ideas are relevant, covering financial concerns and health risks. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding social media influence is well-supported, but the section on skin allergies is slightly repetitive, and the counter-argument in the third paragraph is brief. To reach a higher band, you should aim to extend your supporting points with more specific examples or deeper analysis. Overall, the position is consistent throughout the essay, and the main ideas are clearly presented.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use a range of cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'However', and 'To sum up' to guide the reader. While the progression is generally smooth, some transitions feel slightly mechanical. For instance, the link between the financial argument and the skin allergy argument could be more fluid. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'those product' (should be plural) and 'apply on face' (missing object). Despite these minor lapses, the overall structure is coherent and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'detrimental', 'chronic', 'intense sensation', and 'aplomb'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'thousands dollars' (missing 'of'), 'few money' (should be 'little money'), and 'not that much worth' (should be 'not worth it'). These errors do not impede communication, but they highlight a need for more precise control over idiomatic expressions and collocations. Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated synonyms for common words would help elevate your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you successfully use complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('on face', 'on skin'), pluralization ('those product'), and verb forms ('It could leads to'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'There is not any proof that they are using those product in actual'. While these errors are noticeable, they rarely prevent the reader from understanding your intended meaning. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of articles and prepositions.

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