Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Advancements in cosmetics production have made it possible for people to fulfill their dream of looking attractive in society to gain popularity. This essay will provide all the reasons behind this to prove that this is certainly a positive develop

Using products to treat certain skin-related issues can be beneficial for consumers. Nowadays, having glowing skin has become essential for individuals to look more confident because unattractive people are often degraded. For example, youngsters with pimples or a different skin color are discriminated against easily, thereby reducing their confidence in living in the community. Consequently, consuming products that can help to reduce these issues can be beneficial for them by improving their skin effectively.

Having treatments to look attractive can also be advantageous for people. Since individuals have a sedentary lifestyle due to extended working hours, they do not get enough opportunities for physical activity, resulting in chronic diseases such as obesity. To illustrate, corporate workers work beyond their scheduled hours to cope with excessive workloads. This is because they are always in the hope of promotion or a higher salary increment, which is why they have to improve their physique. As a result, they look for treatments to get into shape, as they have limited opportunities for exercising regularly due to a lack of time.

In conclusion, this is certainly a good thing because it can help the populace to improve their confidence level by improving skin-related issues as well as improving body physique.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt by arguing that the trend is positive. However, the response is slightly under the 250-word minimum, which limits the depth of the arguments. While the ideas regarding skin treatments and body physique are relevant, the connection between sedentary lifestyles and the need for cosmetic treatments is somewhat tenuous. The argument could be more effectively developed by exploring the psychological impact or the societal pressure to conform to beauty standards in more detail. The conclusion is abrupt, and the introduction is incomplete, as the final sentence cuts off mid-word ('develop').

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'Consequently', 'For example', and 'In conclusion' are used to link sentences and paragraphs. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical. The referencing is generally clear, but the transition between the idea of sedentary lifestyles and the conclusion that people need cosmetic treatments to 'get into shape' lacks logical cohesion, as the prompt focuses on looking younger rather than weight loss or fitness.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'sedentary lifestyle', 'chronic diseases', and 'populace'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For instance, 'consuming products' is not the most natural collocation for skincare, and 'degraded' is used slightly inaccurately in the context of social standing. The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several error-free sentences, but there are also grammatical slips, such as 'they are always in the hope of promotion' (should be 'in the hope of a promotion') and the incomplete final sentence. Punctuation is generally accurate, but the overall control of complex structures is inconsistent. The errors present do not impede communication, but they do limit the score to the 6.0 band.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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