Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Advancements in cosmetics production have made it possible for people to fulfill their dream of looking attractive in society to gain popularity. While this essay will provide all the reasons behind this, I certainly believe this is a good thing because of the associated benefits.

Using products to treat certain skin-related issues can be beneficial for consumers. Nowadays, having glowing skin has become essential for individuals to look more confident because unattractive people are often marginalized. For example, youngsters with pimples or a different skin color are discriminated against easily, thereby reducing their confidence in living in the community. Consequently, consuming products that can help to reduce these issues can be beneficial for them by improving their skin effectively.

Having treatments to look attractive can also be advantageous for people. Since individuals have a sedentary lifestyle due to extended working hours, they do not get enough opportunities for physical activity, resulting in chronic diseases such as obesity. To illustrate, corporate workers work beyond their scheduled hours to cope with excessive workloads. This is because they are always in the hope of promotion or a higher salary increment, which is why they have to improve their physique. As a result, they look for treatments to get into shape, as they have limited opportunities for exercising regularly due to a lack of time.

In conclusion, this is certainly a good thing because it can help general public to improve their confidence level by improving skin-related issues as well as improving body physique.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the benefits of anti-aging products and treatments. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the first body paragraph discusses skin issues, the second paragraph shifts focus to obesity and corporate lifestyle, which is only tangentially related to 'looking younger.' The argument that people seek treatments because they lack time to exercise is a bit of a leap and does not directly address the 'looking younger' aspect as effectively as it could. To improve, ensure that every supporting point directly links back to the core topic of anti-aging or aesthetic enhancement rather than general health or fitness.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'consequently,' 'for example,' and 'in conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, the transition between the idea of 'sedentary lifestyle' and 'looking younger' is slightly mechanical and lacks a smooth thematic bridge. The referencing is generally clear, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the logical flow between sentences is more sophisticated and less reliant on standard linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, with some attempts at more precise language such as 'marginalized,' 'sedentary lifestyle,' and 'chronic diseases.' However, there is some repetition of basic terms like 'improve' and 'products.' The phrase 'unattractive people' is a bit simplistic and could be replaced with more nuanced terminology. The range is sufficient to convey meaning clearly, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication required for higher bands. Incorporating more topic-specific collocations related to the beauty and cosmetic industry would enhance the lexical quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some minor errors, such as 'help general public' (missing 'the') and 'in the hope of promotion' (slightly awkward phrasing). Most sentences are clear, and the errors do not impede communication. The use of complex structures is present but could be more varied to demonstrate greater control. To improve, focus on article usage and refining complex sentence constructions to ensure they are error-free, as this will help move the score toward the 7.0-7.5 range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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