Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, there are number of beauty products available in the market and it's possible to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger. I will discuss is this good or bad thing in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin with, on the good side people who think it is good thing have their own reasons. First and foremost, nowadays, there are numerous products available in the market and online website from where people buy them easily. For example, there are many online websites for beauty products where people get product according to their skin and also ask the questions to beauty professionals. Secondly, in this modern era, there are also many treatments that help individuals to look younger like many people do surgeries to become younger and they spend a lot of money on their outer appearance.
On the other hand, if we talk about spending money to buy product and pay for treatments is bad thing. Firstly, there are many beauty products which didn't suit on individual skin, and it is totally waste of money as well as sometime when people get treatments to look younger, they are fail and look uglier as compared to their past appearance. Moreover, it is a waste of money to spend to buy expensive products and get treatments. For instance, Sephora it is popular beauty product company and sell all products on high cost.
In conclusion, no doubt everyone likes to wear expensive beauty products and want to look younger, sometimes they get treatments for it, but these things are not suitable for all skins and sometimes it's just a waste of money and individuals also look more uglier as compared to past.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the issue regarding anti-aging products and treatments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention that these products are available and that some people use them, the arguments regarding why this is 'good' or 'bad' lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. For instance, the mention of Sephora is a good start, but it is not fully integrated into a broader argument about the societal impact or the psychological effects of these trends. To improve, ensure that each paragraph provides a clear, well-reasoned explanation that directly supports your position rather than just listing observations.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'To begin with', 'Secondly', and 'On the other hand' to signal transitions. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition between the benefits of online shopping and the mention of surgeries is abrupt. Additionally, the concluding paragraph repeats points already made without adding a sense of synthesis or a final, clear stance. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each sentence logically follows the previous one will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your meaning clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'beauty products', 'treatments', and 'outer appearance'. However, the range is limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'they are fail' instead of 'they fail' or 'look more uglier', which is grammatically incorrect (the comparative 'uglier' should not be preceded by 'more'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise vocabulary and avoid repetitive structures. Focus on using collocations correctly to sound more natural and sophisticated.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. While you attempt some complex sentences, they often contain errors, such as 'there are number of' (missing article 'a') and 'there are many beauty products which didn't suit on individual skin' (incorrect preposition 'on'). There are also frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms. Increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using relative clauses or conditional sentences more accurately, will help demonstrate a wider grammatical range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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