Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
With a rapid advancement in technology and science, it becomes viable to change the outer appearance of our body including face. There are some cosmetics which helps to turn the tone and nature of skin, on other hand, there are some surgeries which can change your features of face in a way people would like to look like. I am entirely in favor of this advancement for the following reasons.
Life is all about choices and to look older or not is also an individual own preference. Specifically, there are some procedures by the help of which one can tighten their skin, eliminate the aging signs from skin by Botox. Furthermore, the features of our face such as nose, lips are driven from genetics. If one is unsatisfied with the size and shape of them, they can undergo in surgery and make them look as per their choice. Additionally, this is a manner to boost morale and keep the spirits high as well. As people look more confident when they perceive looking beautiful from outer appearance. A personality in itself, impacts the impression of receiver which includes overall look from age, shape of body and clothes.
Fortunately, people can have choice to change the shape of body as well by surgeries. Significantly, women counterpart is always curious about their bodies whether round shaped, rectangular shaped, apple and pear shaped. Whatever they originally are, they can completely transform it. Meanwhile, there are treatments which aids in removing the unwanted hairs permanently whether from face or any part of the body. Furthermore, this hair removal is somewhere crucial from various aspects such as professionally and domestically.
Undoubtedly, there are drastic effects of these treatments which are transparent to users. Therefore, in presence of no veil, one has entire freedom to purse their desires.
Overall, in order to be acceptable as well as look admiring in terms of shape of body and young age, an individuals are going after artificial ways of transforming their looks. Last but not least, choices influences decisions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position in favor of cosmetic procedures. The ideas are relevant, focusing on personal choice, self-esteem, and physical transformation. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'women counterpart' is repetitive and lacks depth, and the conclusion is somewhat disconnected from the main body. While the position is clear throughout, the response would benefit from more nuanced exploration of the potential downsides or societal implications to provide a more balanced and fully developed discussion, which is expected at higher band levels.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' and 'Undoubtedly.' However, the flow between sentences is occasionally mechanical or awkward, such as the transition into the paragraph about women's body shapes. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the final paragraph where the connection between 'artificial ways' and the preceding arguments feels abrupt. The logical progression is present, but the use of cohesive devices is not always natural or flexible, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience in places.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their opinions clearly. There are attempts to use less common items like 'viable,' 'genetics,' and 'transform,' which are used correctly. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward collocations, such as 'women counterpart is always curious' and 'look admiring.' Some phrasing is repetitive, and the range is not sufficiently wide or sophisticated to reach a higher band. The errors in word choice do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('cosmetics which helps,' 'choices influences decisions') and article usage ('in presence of no veil'). Some sentences are structurally awkward, such as 'A personality in itself, impacts the impression of receiver.' While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the message, they are frequent enough to indicate a lack of control over more complex structures, keeping the score in the 6.0 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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