Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In an increasingly interconnected world, using products to look young is the commonly witnessed phenomenon. Some parts of society argue that it is possible for individuals to look young by going through treatments or by using different products. I strongly believe that it is a good thing as it bears certain merits.

To commence with, if people will use items to look young, it leads them to have more job opportunities. To substantiate, number of corporations want their employees to be young and attractive as it helps them to increase sales. To cite an example, a report from university of Toronto shows that 96 percent of restaurant owners prefers to hire young girls because it assists them to attract customers. Hence, individuals may get more job opportunities by looking young.

Probing ahead, paying for treatments to look young not only enables people to gain self confidence but also to build positive aura around them. In other words, getting the confidence to present their thoughts in front of the people and a chance to grow career, becomes possible with facial treatments. To quote an instance, Akshay Kumar, a famous Indian actor told in his interview that he went through face operations to look young because of which he gained the confidence to start working again in film industry. Therefore, using products or treatments allows to grow in life.

To recapitulate, using the face products may lead to allergies or infection, although such situations being rare, using items or paying for operations to look young is quite beneficial because it assists people to grow in their career as well as look attractive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the task by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing, and clearly states a position in the introduction that it is a positive development. The ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as the reference to a University of Toronto report and the personal example of an actor. However, there is a slight tendency to over-generalise in the body paragraphs, and the conclusion mentions a counter-argument regarding allergies and infections that was not properly integrated or developed earlier in the body of the essay. Overall, the prompt is adequately answered and supported, aligning well with the Band 6.0 descriptor requirements for addressing all parts of the task with relevant ideas, though some extension and integration could be more robust.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'To substantiate', 'Probing ahead', and 'To recapitulate' are employed, although some are slightly mechanical or non-standard in IELTS writing context, such as 'Probing ahead'. Referencing is generally clear throughout the text, allowing the reader to follow the progression of ideas from sentence to sentence and paragraph to paragraph. This performance fits comfortably within Band 6.0, where information and ideas are coherently arranged with a logical overall progression, despite some mechanical or faulty cohesive devices.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrases like 'interconnected world', 'commonly witnessed phenomenon', and 'facial treatments'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation inaccuracies throughout the text, such as writing 'number of corporations' instead of 'a number of corporations', 'prefers to hire' instead of 'prefer to hire', and 'told in his interview' instead of 'stated in an interview'. Spelling is generally accurate, but these lexical inaccuracies restrict the score to Band 6.0, which describes an adequate range for the task with some errors in word choice that do not impede overall communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response features a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating attempts at subordination and relative clauses, such as 'if people will use items to look young, it leads them to...' and 'getting the confidence to present their thoughts... becomes possible'. There are several grammatical errors and awkward structures, notably the misuse of future tense in conditional clauses ('if people will use') and missing articles ('university of Toronto', 'film industry'). Punctuation is mostly functional, and while these errors are noticeable, they rarely impede communication. This corresponds directly to the Band 6.0 descriptor, which notes a mix of simple and complex sentence forms with some errors that do not prevent the reader from understanding the message.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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