Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In these day, there is a trend in the society to purchase a lot of products or pay for treatments that help them look younger.

This trend is debatable since last few decades with many people claiming that it is beneficial while others reject this notion. In my opinion, the former notion seems to be more rational, and this essay will significantly elaborate this idea.

First and foremost reason is that every human has a desire to be admired and appreciated. In this digital world there is a growing tendency to purchasing products that enhance the beauty. Now people have more information than before about the beauty products and treatments. In addition, social media and advertisements have made it convenient to access these products, for instance you can buy online any product from any part of the world.

Furthermore, the treatments for looking young are cheap now than before, for instance, botex, hair plant and cosmetic surgeries. A few decades before these treatments were only available in Europe but noe they are almost in ever country. Mostly people prefer to go Turkey for hair plant treatment and cosmetic surgery, that is somewhat cheaper than Europe.

On the other hand, the cosmetic industry is progressing day by day. It is not denying the fact that this industry is contributing to the economies of many countries, such as France, Italy. Many people rely on the products of these countries.

Moreover, individuals should spend money to enhance their beauty and personality, according to their purchasing capacity. If every individual try to be beautiful, neat and clean the whole society will be beautiful. Besides, government should assist people to purchase these item at low prices.

To recapitulate, it is proved that using the products and undergoing treatments for younger looks is justified and every body should adopt these habits. In addition, government should assist people in maintaining their beauty.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing whether the trend of buying anti-aging products and treatments is a good or bad thing, ultimately taking a clear positive stance. Ideas are extended and supported, such as mentioning the psychological desire to be appreciated and the economic contributions of the beauty industry. However, there is a tendency to over-generalize in places, such as claiming that 'every human has a desire to be admired' and suggesting that 'every body should adopt these habits,' which limits the depth of critical evaluation. Supporting examples, like mentioning Turkey for cosmetic surgeries and countries like France and Italy, are relevant but lack specific statistical or deeply elaborated details. Overall, the task is adequately addressed, placing the response comfortably within the Band 6.5 to 7.0 range.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a generally coherent arrangement with a clear overall progression. Paragraphing is utilised, separating the introduction, body paragraphs addressing the benefits and the economic angle, and the conclusion. However, cohesion is at times faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'On the other hand' introduces the economic contribution of the industry, but this point actually aligns with the writer's pro-trend stance rather than serving as a genuine opposing viewpoint, creating a slight logical disconnect. Furthermore, referencing and cohesive devices like 'First and foremost reason is that' and 'To recapitulate' show some awkwardness. Paragraphing could also be polished, as some body paragraphs are quite short and abrupt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items such as 'purchasing capacity', 'economic contributions', and 'cosmetic surgeries'. However, there are noticeable lexical errors and awkward collocations that detract from precision, such as 'botex' (botox), 'hair plant' (hair transplant), 'ever country' (every country), and 'Mostly people' (Most people). Spelling errors like 'noe' instead of 'now' also appear. While these issues do not heavily impede communication, they reflect a Band 6 level where vocabulary control is sometimes inconsistent and imprecise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, incorporating relative clauses and conditional structures such as 'If every individual try to be beautiful...'. However, there are frequent grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'In these day', 'First and foremost reason is that', and 'If every individual try'. Punctuation and phrasing also show lapses, as seen in 'It is not denying the fact that'. While complex structures are attempted, they are often accompanied by errors that require the reader to occasionally pause, placing the grammar score solidly at Band 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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