Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent times, people are spending money on new procedures and products to make them look young. In my opinion it is not a good thing as it alters the natural facial features and the urge to look better keeps increasing which requires a lot of money.

The demand of looking better and younger keeps on going because of the unrealistic beauty standards day by day. Mostly this is seen in women as they feel a big competition when going in gatherings or parties. The reason behind is the standards set by media and fashion industry as they only choose models who are slim, have sharp features and are fair. As a result, people compare and judge each other on the basis of these terms. This has led people to run after new treatments and products to match the new standards everytime. This situation can be tackled if media industry promotes models from all age group regardless of their body shape and skin color.

On the other hand, going after such treatments not only alters the orginial facial features but is quite money consuming. Nowadays, these simple cosmetic procedures are very pricey because they know people have a huge urge to look younger. Therefore, the prices keeps on increasing as people in every decade want to match the unrealistic beauty standard at any cost. For instance, Botox and face fillers are temporary, they need to be re done after sometime. This has made several clinics to raise the price because they know patients will definitely come after it. Thus, clinics are expanding their businesses at the cost of people losing their hard earned money.

In conclusion, it is very feasible for people to go for new treatments and products to help them look young. This is certainly wrong as it can change the orginal face features and the demand to meet the standards keeps on elevating which obviously requires a huge amount of money.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses the prompt directly, presenting a clear position that anti-aging products and treatments are a negative development. The writer successfully highlights key reasons for this stance, such as the alteration of natural facial features and the financial burden imposed by societal beauty standards. Ideas are extended and supported with examples, such as mentioning temporary procedures like Botox and face fillers that require ongoing financial investment. While the discussion could be slightly more nuanced regarding the psychological benefits some individuals might experience, the task is fully addressed with a clear and consistent position throughout, aligning well with the expectations of Band 7.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas from introduction to body paragraphs and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, such as media influence in the second paragraph and financial costs in the third. Cohesive devices are used appropriately, including transitional phrases like 'On the other hand,' 'As a result,' and 'In conclusion.' However, some referencing is slightly mechanical, and logical transitions between sentences could sometimes flow more naturally. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, ensuring the overall structure remains clear and easy to follow, supporting a solid Band 6.5 to 7 performance.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate and generally appropriate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using terms like 'unrealistic beauty standards,' 'facial features,' and 'money consuming.' There are some attempts at less common lexical items, though occasional inaccuracies in word choice and spelling occur, such as writing 'orginial' instead of 'original' and using 'feasible' in the final paragraph where a word like 'advisable' or 'beneficial' would be more appropriate. Nevertheless, these errors do not impede communication, and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the intended arguments clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The writer employs a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including conditional and relative clauses such as 'This situation can be tackled if media industry promotes models...' and '...clinics are expanding their businesses at the cost of people losing their hard earned money.' There are several minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'The demand of looking better' instead of 'The demand for looking better' and 'prices keeps on increasing' instead of 'prices keep on increasing.' Despite these persistent minor errors, the meaning is never obscured, and there are enough error-free sentences to secure a Band 6.

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