Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is an undeniable fact that new technologies have created the world more advanced in many fields. These new technologies has ability to make products, which might be used for treatments that help people to look younger by age. Whereas, I believe that this is not a good thing in general for the humans.

Firstly, most of the cosmetics are made of harsh chemicals, which people apply on their skin directly to look more brighter and smoother. People spend money to buy these items eventhough, it can cause many health issues, like skin cancer and allergies. Secondly, the treatments are most expensive and people draining their wallet significantally. For instance, women spend almost 60 percent of their salary for buying cosmetic items, like lipsticks and makeup kits. Moreover, many people lost their identity when they use more artificial chemicals to look younger. For example, one recent report that has been conducted by philosopher, Mark joddy, declared that 15 percent of American ladies lost their identity because they used excessive amount of makeups for long time and they are no longer recognisable as a same person as they were before. As a result, they lost their American citizenship.

In addition to that, communities are highly influnced by these products and plastic surgeries. The young and old generation are less diffrenciate and these might cause social issue. People will behave same with each other and create the negative attitude towords old generations.

To conclude, it is clear that this tread is causing negative impact on people health and behaviour. this should be avoid otherwise have bad in the future.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether anti-ageing products and treatments are a good or bad thing, clearly taking a negative stance ('whereas, I believe that this is not a good thing in general for the humans'). Main ideas are presented, such as health risks, financial costs, and identity loss. However, some arguments and examples become rather exaggerated or unconvincing, such as the claim that women spend 60 percent of their salary on cosmetics or that using makeup can lead to the loss of American citizenship. These unsupported and extreme claims prevent the ideas from being fully developed in a credible manner. Consequently, the task response aligns best with a Band 6, where the task is addressed and relevant ideas are present, but development and support slip into implausibility.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing a clear overall structure. Paragraphing is attempted, and transitional markers such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'Moreover', and 'In addition to that' are utilised to signal the progression of ideas. However, referencing and cohesion are occasionally faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition into the final paragraph feels abrupt, and some sentences lack smooth logical links. Pronoun referencing is also slightly loose at times. These limitations place the performance at a Band 6 level, where logical organisation is present overall, but cohesive devices are sometimes misused or mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student attempts a range of vocabulary suitable for the topic, including terms like 'cosmetics', 'harsh chemicals', 'allergies', and 'plastic surgeries'. However, there are numerous lexical and collocational errors throughout the response, such as 'created the world more advanced' instead of 'made the world more advanced', 'look more brighter', 'treatments are most expensive', and 'people draining their wallet significantally'. Spelling errors like 'influnced', 'diffrenciate', 'towords', 'tread', and 'avoid' also occur. These errors show an adequate range for the task with noticeable inaccuracies, fitting the Band 5 descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, such as relative clauses ('products, which might be used') and conditional ideas. However, there is a high frequency of grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('These new technologies has ability', 'people lost their identity when they use', 'this tread is causing'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing ('this should be avoid otherwise have bad in the future'). These frequent errors can cause some difficulty for the reader and impede the flow, matching the Band 5 criteria for grammar.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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