Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In this modern era, people spend lot of money on beauty products and treatments to look younger. I am largely agree with this statement. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons about this notion.
Firstly, one of main advantage is that people feel more confident. To explain this, every individual wants to look more beautiful from others. Most of people are get insecure from their beauty due to this they feel less confident. For example,I have lot of pimples on my face and makes me ugly due to this i feel depressed and insecure from my beauty. Another advantage is that helps to enhance their beauty. Some of individuals are not able to work in film industry due to less beauty. This is the good idea for people to get more beauty by doing surgery
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
Your response addresses the prompt by discussing whether anti-ageing products and treatments are a good or bad thing, and you take a clear position stating that you largely agree. However, your ideas are severely underdeveloped due to the extremely short length of the response. The text contains only 136 words, which falls well short of the minimum requirement of 250 words for Task 2. Because of this major shortcoming, the development of your ideas is limited. You attempt to give reasons such as increased confidence and enhancement of appearance, but these points are abruptly ended without sufficient explanation or relevant exemplification. To improve, you must fully develop each main idea with extended explanations and complete your essays to meet the word count.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
Your essay shows some basic organizational structure, including an introductory paragraph and a body paragraph. However, the overall progression is heavily disrupted by the extremely brief length of the text. You attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Firstly' and 'Another advantage', but the referencing and transitions are often faulty and mechanical. For instance, the phrase 'due to this they feel less confident' is repetitive and lacks clear structural connection. Additionally, your paragraphing is incomplete; you only present a single short body paragraph instead of the necessary two or three distinct body paragraphs required for a fully realized essay. Cohesion is inadequate because ideas are stated abruptly without proper linking within and between sentences.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
You use a limited but minimally adequate range of vocabulary suitable for the topic, including words like 'modern era', 'beauty products', 'confident', and 'surgery'. However, there are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation that highlight your lexical limitations, such as 'spend lot of money' (missing an article), 'Most of people are get insecure' (incorrect passive/active mix), and 'due to less beauty' (unnatural phrasing). You also rely on repetitive vocabulary, repeatedly using forms of the word 'beauty' and 'insecure' within short sentences. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey a basic meaning, these frequent lexical inaccuracies and the restricted range prevent you from achieving a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
Your grammar displays a very limited range of structures, consisting mostly of simple sentences alongside a few faulty attempts at complex ones. There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that cause difficulty for the reader, including missing articles ('spend lot of money'), incorrect verb forms ('Most of people are get insecure'), comma splices ('...makes me ugly due to this i feel depressed...'), and pronoun capitalization issues. Furthermore, your sentences lack variety and control. Although the meaning can generally be understood despite these issues, the high frequency of basic errors and the lack of complex sentence control restrict your score for this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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