Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern era, it become trend among people to get some facial treatment and buy expensive product to look more beautiful and young as compared to their age, however, I considered this a negative things because of many reasons. The two main reason which I want to explain with the help of this essay are leads to various new health problems and another reason is spending money recklessly on the things.

To begin with, nowadays earning bread and butter is not easy job, however, to look more beautiful and young, people spend money recklessly on the expensive products. People considered looking beautiful is more important than eating good and spend their earning of new and expensive product. According to the research, it is considered that 79% of the earning of many people are spend on cosmetic products , which is major part of the earning. However, people are so busy to impress society and look beautiful that they spend their money on cosmetic , by doing this they feel more confident.This is not only wasting people's money but also waste their time and energy as they spend number of hours to find products on the sites .

Another major reason is these expensive treatments leads to many health disorders which are need to overlook. Many ladies do their face treatment to look beautiful however due to this treatment their face skin becomes sensitive and more prone to skin infections. In Korea, it become trend among girls to make their legs slim, however due to this the number of paralyzed patients get rise by 16%. This trend is not only limited to young generation but also old people do number of treatment on their face to remove wrinkles of their face and in result of that they lost the natural beauty of their own face.

To put everything in nutshell, I considered this a negative impact because nobody can change the law of nature as when people try to do that it result in negative outcomes, so before taking these steps people should consider that natural beauty is the most beautiful thing and no other alternation can change it.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position that purchasing anti-aging products and treatments is a negative development. The writer introduces two main arguments: financial recklessness and health problems. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the discussion on financial spending focuses heavily on general claims and unsupported statistics, such as '79% of the earning of many people are spend on cosmetic products.' While the position is clear throughout, the support remains somewhat superficial and could be extended further with more robust examples. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fulfilling the requirements for Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as financial impacts in the second paragraph and health issues in the third. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or faulty, such as the transition 'The two main reason which I want to explain with the help of this essay are leads to...' Additionally, referencing and linking within sentences occasionally break down, leading to clunky phrasing like 'another reason is spending money recklessly on the things.' Progression is visible, but the cohesion needs smoother handling to reach a higher band level.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the writer to convey basic ideas about beauty trends and financial spending. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'recklessly,' 'wrinkles,' and 'cosmetic products,' but these are often accompanied by noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation. Examples include 'it become trend,' 'eating good and spend their earning,' and 'no other alternation can change it' (intended as 'alternative'). Spelling and morphological errors do not completely impede communication, but they restrict the lexical score to Band 5.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is inconsistent. Frequent grammatical errors occur, particularly with verb tense and agreement, such as 'it become trend,' 'treatments leads,' and 'which are need to overlook.' Punctuation errors are also present, including run-on sentences and missing commas before dependent clauses. While the writer attempts complex structures, they are frequently faulty and require the reader to work harder to understand the intended meaning. These frequent errors place the response firmly in the Band 5.0 category.

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