Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent years, there has been considerable debate about many people now purchase many products or pay for surgeries that help them to look younger. I believe it is a bad thing to do with your skin and body. This is because artificial beauty comes with a lot of side effects.

One of the primary cause occur with these treatments is that it damage the skin internally. Treatments often includes several medications which slowly damage the internal parts of human body. As a result, many individuals diagonised by dangerous diseases or infections in their bodies. For example, there was a survey that most of the well-known actresses often diagonised with cancer disease due to the heavy dose of medications after the beauty treatments.

Another important point is that many beauty products are mixture of chemicals that are not appropriate for skin. These products often damage the outer skin and spoil the natural beauty of individuals. To cite an example, many make-up products used by youngsters to enhance their beauty are most likely a slow poison for their skin because they are mostly made of chemicals that are harsh to their human skin. Therefore, those products are less likley to give benefits to the skin.

In my opinion, instead of these artificial beauty products or treatments, people may add healthy diet in their meals which automatically enhance their their inner and outer beauty naturally. In addition, people may do excercises or involve in physical activities. Physicall fitness plays a significant role to look younger naturally rather than artifical products and medicines.

In conclusion, I think beauty products and treatments are not good for humans to look younger because it damage the body internally and externally, However, following a healthy diet and active life style help them to look younger naturally and spontaneously.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The candidate addresses the prompt by discussing whether beauty products and treatments are a good or bad thing, presenting a clear position that they are harmful due to side effects. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as actresses using treatments and youngsters applying make-up. However, the development of ideas tends to be slightly repetitive and somewhat unsupported by actual facts (e.g., claiming actresses are frequently diagnosed with cancer due to beauty treatments). The response covers all parts of the task and sustains a clear position throughout, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors where ideas are present and relevant, though some generalisations remain under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is structured with an introduction, three body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an overall logical arrangement. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate ideas. However, cohesion within and between sentences is sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, the transition 'One of the primary cause occur with these treatments' contains awkward phrasing, and referencing is not always completely clear. Cohesive devices like 'To cite an example', 'Therefore', and 'In addition' are used, but some links feel forced or repetitive, fitting comfortably into the Band 6 descriptor where cohesion is sometimes mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate their main ideas about beauty products and health. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, such as 'artificial beauty', 'significant role', and 'spontaneously', but these are accompanied by frequent noticeable errors in word choice, form, and collocation, such as 'diagonised by' instead of 'diagnosed with', and 'Physicall fitness'. Spelling errors like 'likley' and 'excercises' also occur. These errors do not seriously impede communication, reflecting the typical lexical profile of a Band 5.5 to 6.0, where an adequate range is shown alongside noticeable inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are numerous errors in subject-verb agreement and tense usage, such as 'many people now purchase... is a bad thing', 'One of the primary cause occur', and 'treatments often includes'. Punctuation and word-formation errors are also present, as seen in 'active life style' and 'artifical'. While communication is generally maintained, the frequency of errors prevents the writing from reaching a Band 6, placing it firmly at Band 5 due to frequent grammatical errors that can cause some difficulty.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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