Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's era, it can be observed that most of the population wants to look younger for which they go through various surgeries and consume drugs. In my opinion, this is a destructive development due to the facts that it can cause severe health issues as well as it can be proved wastage of money.

To commence with, individuals are more concerned about their looks for which they go through numerous operations which can result in harm to their body. To explicate, the injections and medicines which are used during surgeries includes different kinds of chemicals which are considerably dangerous to human life. Additionally, sometimes it can cause unxpected swelling or infections. As a result, people ruins their overall personality. For example, one of the famous bollywood actress named, Shaifali Bagga died at her age of 40 and the reason came out for her death is drugs that she took to look younger. Therefore, treatments are not recommended to look amazing instead healty diet and balanced lifestyle must be suggested.

Furthermore, these scientific remedies are proved highly expensive that is totally a wastage of funds. To explain more about it, if numerous people uses these treatments to look younger then this is a wrong method. Instead home remedies are considered best and long lasting which is not only suitable for face but also it is beneficial for inner body functioning. For instance, on social media, nowadays, several social media influencers are promoting natural activities to maintain younger looks which anyone can afford. Hence, treatments are not profitable method for this notion.

Overall, purchasing treatments sessions or consuming heavy doses for looking better is very harmful way because it can creates serious diseases and it is not worth to spend money on it.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.0
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource6.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.0
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing, clearly taking a negative stance ('this is a destructive development'). The position is maintained throughout the essay. Main ideas are presented, such as health risks and financial waste, and supported with explanations and examples, such as the mention of natural alternatives and social media influencers. However, some ideas are slightly over-generalized or underdeveloped, such as the specific example given regarding the Bollywood actress, which contains factual and contextual inaccuracies. Overall, the task is addressed adequately, fitting the criteria for Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction and conclusion. Paragraphing is used sufficiently and appropriately, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct main point: health risks followed by financial considerations. Cohesive devices are employed to signal transitions, such as 'To commence with', 'Additionally', and 'Furthermore'. However, referencing and cohesion are sometimes mechanical or faulty, as seen in awkward transitions like 'for which they go through' and minor issues with pronoun agreement and sentence linking. Paragraph progression is generally clear, placing this text firmly at Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, with attempts at less common lexical items such as 'destructive development', 'considerably dangerous', and 'inner body functioning'. However, there are noticeable word-choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'unxpected swelling', 'people ruins their overall personality' (instead of appearance), and 'profitable method' (instead of effective method). Spelling errors ('unxpected', 'healty') also occur. While these errors do not seriously impede communication, they reflect the limitations of Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'at her age of 40', 'treatments are proved highly expensive', 'if numerous people uses', and 'it can creates serious diseases'. Despite these recurring mistakes, the structures attempted show an adequate range, and the meaning of the sentences remains largely clear, aligning with the descriptors for Band 5.5 to 6.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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