Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this modern world people have become too concious about their beauty and overall body looks. They don't want to look old and are spending for treatments, buying products that helps them look younger which is fine upto certain extent but I believe it is not a good thing to do.

Currently there have been lots of advancement in beauty industry. Companies are investing heavily in research and product development to deliver products that improvise your overall beauty. Earlier, they introduced facial products like face scrubs to clean skin affected by pollution and face masks for glowing skin. Their primary target to sell these kind of products were all young generation people. Then, they introduced products which helps tighten your skin cells and this anti-anging products helped them target people aged above 40. These beauty companies use famous celebrities to advertise their products and nowadays due to social media it has became very easy to do marketing which helps them increase sales of such anti-aging products.

As per recent survery done by Bloomberg, people using these kind of anti-aging products have increased a lot in this last decade. The primary reason for this boost is social media influence. Due to these celebrities showcasing their fairness journey applying these kind of products through social media have influenced general population to use as well. They don't want themselves to look old and due that they use all these products to look younger. There have been lots of research which showcases that applying these anti-aging products causes long term damages when you get more older and tt even causes skin cancer.

Therefore, I think general awareness has to be spread to this general population that looking old is fine rather then getting diagonised with skin cancer. Its not bad to use these products but people should take precautions before consuming these anti-aging products.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing whether anti-aging products and treatments are a positive or negative trend. A clear position is taken in the introduction ('I believe it is not a good thing to do') and maintained throughout the essay. Main ideas are presented, such as the influence of social media and the potential health risks like skin cancer. However, some arguments lack deep development. For instance, the mention of health risks is somewhat generalized without concrete elaboration, placing the response firmly at Band 6. The ideas are relevant and cover all parts of the task, but further extension and supporting examples would be required to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with a recognizable introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used to separate distinct ideas, such as industry advancements versus health impacts. However, cohesion is at times faulty and mechanical. Phrases like 'Currently there have been lots of advancement' and 'Then, they introduced' show a slightly repetitive and basic linking style. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'these kind of products' repeating frequently without smooth substitution. While the progression is generally clear, these lapses in cohesive device flexibility limit the score to a 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The writer demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully incorporating terms such as 'advancement', 'beauty industry', 'anti-aging', and 'diagonised'. There are, however, several lexical errors and awkward word choices, such as 'concious' (conscious), 'upto' (up to), 'improvise your overall beauty' (improve), 'survery' (survey), and 'more older' (older). Spelling errors like 'diagonised' (diagnosed) occur, and collocations are occasionally imprecise. The vocabulary is minimally sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but inaccuracies prevent it from achieving a higher band descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating some capability to construct multi-clause sentences, such as 'Companies are investing heavily in research and product development to deliver products that improvise your overall beauty.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors and punctuation lapses throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('products that helps', 'products which helps', 'survery done'), missing articles ('due that', 'general awareness has to be spread to this general population'), and spelling slips. These errors occasionally disrupt the reading flow, though they do not seriously impede overall communication.

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