Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Undoubtedly, we are living in the modern world, where several changes can be noticed, especially in the field of make up. Paying for treatments is very common nowadays to look better. I am not in the favour of this trend, but it is important to some extent.

Firsly, using various products leads to numerous heath issues. As most of the products contain very harmful chemicals which lead to skin cancer and makes the skin more pale. As a result, the usuage must be limited for sensitive skin. For Instance, according to the servey of times of India, oevr 10 percent of world's population diagnosed with skin cancer by applying make-up products on their skin.

Secondly, it also distract children from their studies. In other words, due to advancement in technology pupil follow face treatments of their role models due to which they do not stody properly and foucs on such unimportant things. For example, a surey was conducted by mumtaz group and they found that over 70 percent of learner went through treatements of hair in Haryana.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response presents a clear position regarding anti-aging treatments and products, but it is severely limited by the length requirement. The prompt specifies a minimum of 250 words, whereas this text contains only 177 words. Due to this under-length penalty, the task cannot be fully developed. Although the student attempts to provide two main arguments regarding health issues and distractions for children, the ideas remain underdeveloped and lack sufficient explanation. Furthermore, the claim about children being distracted from studies by hair treatments in Haryana lacks broad logical connection to the core topic of looking younger. Consequently, the task achievement is restricted to a lower band due to incomplete development and word count failure.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay displays a basic structural attempt with an introduction and two body paragraphs, but the overall progression is weak. Paragraphing is used, but the second body paragraph introduces a sudden and weakly connected argument regarding children and students. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes repetitive or awkward, such as starting multiple sentences and paragraphs with transitional words like 'Firsly,' 'Secondly,' and 'As a result.' Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the mechanical flow restricts the coherence of the text. Overall, the organizational structure is basic and lacks sophisticated logical linking between ideas.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, such as 'products,' 'treatments,' and 'skin.' There are several spelling and word choice errors, including 'favour' spelled as 'favour' (acceptable in UK English, but combined with 'Firsly' and 'heath,' basic mechanics suffer), 'usuage' instead of 'usage,' 'servey' instead of 'survey,' and 'oevr' instead of 'over.' The student attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'undoubtedly' and 'advancement,' but the range remains narrow and inadequate for fully conveying complex thoughts smoothly. Communication is occasionally strained by these lexical inaccuracies.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mixture of simple and complex sentence structures, but many attempts at complex forms are grammatically flawed. For instance, sentences like 'As most of the products contain very harmful chemicals which lead to skin cancer and makes the skin more pale' suffer from subject-verb agreement issues ('makes' instead of 'make') and sentence fragment tendencies. There are frequent punctuation and capitalization slips, such as lower-case letters after periods in some parts and incorrect spellings that blur grammatical intent. While simple sentences are generally understandable, errors persist throughout and lower the overall accuracy of the writing.

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