Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.
Is this a good thing or a bad thing?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is true that nowadays, most of people become materialistic person that is why they tend to buy number of items which helps them to look as younger. Although this phenomenon has some positive sides, i believe that negative sides can not be ignored.
On the one hand, there are several reasons why individuals prefer to purchase more products which is very helpful to stay younger. First and the foremost, in modern era, most of people prefer to buy more things which is very necessary to stay healthy. because they want to status in front of others that is why they prefer to buy more cosmetics. Becasue these days people more focus on their beauty as they think that if they are beautiful, most of the individual can easily attractive and ask them where heor she buy that brands. Moreover, these days everyone need to go outside for their business purpose and study so they need to mmet other person if they are beautiful they can meet them a confidentily and speak them.
On the other hand, i opine that some downsides are associated with this trend. Firstly, if people prefer to buy more costmetics, it wastage hefty amount of money because it is very costly. Because some people can not afford it because they belong to middle class family that is why it become headache for them to purchase it so they can feel embarace and sometime they siuffer from stress and anxiety. Apart from it, Some branded costmetics are not suitable for people look but they buy it for just it because his role models use it which put adverse influence on their look.
To conclude, while it has some advanage associated with this phenomenon, i opine that costly and unsuitable items are main roots of this issues.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses both parts of the prompt by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing, presenting a clear position that the negative sides cannot be ignored. The student attempts to extend ideas, such as mentioning social status, business confidence, and the financial and psychological pressures of buying cosmetics. However, the development is often repetitive and superficial. For instance, the points about buying cosmetics for health, status, and beauty are somewhat tangled together and lack precise real-world examples. Additionally, there are minor digressions regarding business purposes that distract slightly from the main theme of age-reversal products. Nevertheless, the main thrust of the task is met with a recognisable stance and supported arguments, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs with a clear overall structure, including an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting opposing views, and a conclusion. Standard cohesive devices are used to signal progression, such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude'. However, internal cohesion within paragraphs is frequently faulty and mechanical. Sentences often run together awkwardly without appropriate transition markers, and referencing is sometimes unclear, as seen in phrases like 'it for just it because his role models use it'. Paragraphing is present and appropriate, but the lack of smooth logical transitions between sentences places this performance firmly at Band 5.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary for the task, attempting less common items such as 'materialistic', 'phenomenon', 'hefty amount', and 'embarace'. However, there is a high frequency of lexical inaccuracies, inappropriate word choices, and word-formation errors, such as 'most of people', 'as younger', 'ask them where heor she buy that brands', 'meet them a confidentily', and 'wastage hefty amount of money'. Spelling errors like 'Becasue' and 'embarace' also occur. While the meaning is generally communicated despite these limitations, the frequent errors and restricted control over less common vocabulary restrict the score to Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilising subordinate clauses introduced by 'although', 'because', and 'that is why'. However, grammatical accuracy is weak throughout the text. There are frequent errors in verb tense, article usage, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure, such as 'most of people become materialistic person', 'products which is very helpful', 'people more focus on their beauty', and 'it wastage hefty amount of money'. Many complex structures are faulty, leading to noticeable strain for the reader, which corresponds closely to the Band 5 descriptors.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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