Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Currently, people can purchase various kinds of products or spend their money on medical treatments, which make them look youthful. I believe this is a good thing because this practice make people happy. Also, creates business opportunities for skin care production companies and medical specialists. This essay will disscuss about benefits of this approach.

When compared with last decade, nowadays individuals' focused more on their appearance. This is not limited to women, even men are worry about their look. The main reason is attractive appearance makes them happy. Therefore, people spend a lot of money for their medical treatments. For an instance, South Korea is very famous for plastic surgeries. Number of people visits South Korea for the surgeries. Although, there are some side affects, people buy more products and pay for their treatments to satisfy themselves.

This habit increase the new business opportunities and sales for the companies and doctors. When the women and the men are willing to spend their savings for surgeries and treatments, it will generate high sales for the companies. Moreover, demand for dermatologists' have drastically increased as people are waiting to get the treatments. For an example, in North America, the dermatologists are earning more than general physicians and other specialists.

In conclusion, people have number of options to look younger as they can purchase products or pay for the treatments. Even though there are some bad results, I believe this is a good thing. Because people should be able decide on their own happiness and youthfullness makes them happy. Additionally, this open more opportunities for businesses and medical staff.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing, and provides a clear position. The writer supports their view with relevant examples, such as mentioning South Korea's plastic surgery industry and the high demand for dermatologists in North America. However, some ideas are slightly repetitive or under-developed, such as the initial assertion that treatments 'make people happy' without deeper elaboration. Nevertheless, the main arguments regarding personal happiness and economic benefits are adequately covered and sustained throughout the essay, aligning well with the Band 6 descriptors.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is coherent overall with a clear logical arrangement into introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct main idea (personal happiness versus business opportunities). However, cohesion at the sentence level is occasionally faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'Also, creates business opportunities' lack a proper subject, and the sentence structure in places disrupts the flow. Referencing is generally clear, but cohesive devices are at times basic or slightly inaccurate, placing this response firmly in the Band 6 category.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully using topic-specific terms such as 'medical treatments', 'plastic surgeries', 'dermatologists', and 'skincare production companies'. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary, but these are accompanied by noticeable word-choice and spelling errors, such as 'disscuss about' instead of 'discuss', 'side affects' instead of 'side effects', and 'youthfullness' instead of 'youthfulness'. Although these errors occur, they do not severely impede communication, making this performance representative of Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, utilizing relative clauses and conditional structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include missing subjects ('Also, creates business'), incorrect verb forms ('individuals' focused more'), misuse of articles ('For an instance'), and preposition errors ('demand for dermatologists' have'). While these errors are noticeable and require the reader to occasionally re-read, they rarely impede overall communication. The mixture of successfully formed complex sentences alongside frequent structural errors fits the Band 5.5 to 6 profile, leaning toward Band 6 due to the successful communication of meaning.

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