Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Currently, people can purchase various kinds of products or spend their money on medical treatments, which makes them look youthful. I believe this is a good thing because this practice makes people happy. Also, it creates business opportunities for skin care manufacturing companies and medical specialists. This essay will discuss benefits of this approach.

When compared with the last decade, now individuals focus more on their appearance. This is not limited to women because men also worried about their looks. The main reason is that an attractive appearance makes them happy. Therefore, people spend a lot of money on their medical treatments. For instance, South Korea is very famous for plastic surgery. A number of people visit South Korea for the surgeries. Although, there are some side effects, people buy more products and pay for their treatments to satisfy themselves.

This habit increases the new business opportunities and sales for the companies and doctors. When the women and the men are willing to spend their savings for surgeries and treatments, it will generate high sales for the companies. Moreover, demand for dermatologists have drastically increased as people are waiting to get the treatments. For example, in North America, the dermatologists are earning more than general physicians and other specialists.

In conclusion, people have a number of options to look younger as they can purchase products or pay for the treatments. Even though there are some bad results, I believe this is a good thing, because people should be able to decide on their own happiness and youthfulness that makes them happy. Additionally, this opens more opportunities for businesses and medical staff.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The student successfully addresses all parts of the task by clearly discussing whether spending money on youth-enhancing products and treatments is a good or bad thing, and provides a clear overall position that it is a positive development. Ideas are extended and supported with relevant examples, such as mentioning South Korea's prominence in plastic surgery and the high demand for dermatologists in North America. The response presents a well-rounded argument touching upon personal happiness and economic benefits for businesses and medical professionals. However, some arguments, such as the generalisation about men's changing attitudes, could have been elaborated further. Overall, the task is addressed effectively and the position is maintained throughout, fitting the Band 7 criteria.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The response features a clear logical organisation and progression throughout. It follows a traditional essay structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs addressing specific facets of the argument, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'Although', and 'Moreover' are used appropriately to guide the reader through the points. Paragraphing is utilised sufficiently, with each body paragraph focusing on a distinct sub-theme, such as personal satisfaction and economic growth. While referencing is generally clear and logical, certain transitions feel slightly formulaic, aligning the essay solidly with Band 7 standards for cohesion and paragraphing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The writer demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary for the task, allowing for some flexibility and precision with terms like 'youthful', 'plastic surgery', 'dermatologists', and 'general physicians'. There are attempts to use less common lexical items, such as 'drastically increased' and 'business opportunities'. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, for example, saying 'demand for dermatologists have drastically increased' (agreement aside, collocation could be sharper) or 'bad results' instead of 'negative consequences' or 'adverse effects'. Despite these minor flaws, communication is smooth throughout, meeting the requirements for Band 6.5 to 7.0; a score of 6.5 accurately reflects the occasional limitation in lexical precision.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional or concessive clauses such as 'Although, there are some side effects...' and 'When the women and the men are willing to spend...'. There are some noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'men also worried about their looks' (tense inconsistency), the comma splice after 'Although', and 'demand for dermatologists have' (subject-verb agreement with 'demand' and 'have'). However, punctuation and grammar are controlled well enough that these errors rarely impede communication, demonstrating a solid Band 6 level of grammatical accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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