Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 20 · 2026-09-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Nowadays it's possible for people to buy many products or pay for treatments that help them to look younger.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Currently, people can purchase various kinds of products or spend their money on medical treatments, which makes them look youthful. I believe this is a good thing because this practice makes people happy. Also, it creates business opportunities for skincare manufacturing companies and medical specialists. This essay will discuss the benefits of this approach.

When compared with the last decade, nowadays individuals focus more on their appearance. This is not limited to women because men are also worried about their looks. The main reason is that an attractive appearance makes them happy. Therefore, people spend a lot of money on their medical treatments. For instance, South Korea is very famous for plastic surgery. A number of people visit South Korea for the surgeries. Although there are some side effects, people buy more products and pay for their treatments to satisfy themselves.

This habit increases the new business opportunities and sales for the companies and doctors. When women and men are willing to spend their savings on surgeries and treatments, it will generate high sales for the companies. Moreover, demand for dermatologists has drastically increased as people are waiting to get the treatments. For example, in North America, dermatologists are earning more than general physicians and other specialists.

In conclusion, people have a number of options to look younger as they can purchase products or pay for the treatments. Even though there are some bad results, I believe this is a good thing, because people should be able to decide on their own happiness and youthfulness that makes them happy. Additionally, this opens more opportunities for businesses and medical staff.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response successfully addresses all parts of the prompt by discussing whether products and treatments to look younger are a good or bad thing. You present a clear position from the introduction and maintain it throughout the essay, concluding that it is ultimately positive. Your ideas are relevant, noting personal happiness and business opportunities, and you support them with examples such as South Korea's plastic surgery industry and the rising demand for dermatologists in North America. While some of the supporting explanations could be extended further to achieve higher-level development, the task is fully covered, and the main arguments are clearly communicated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

Your essay demonstrates a logical overall organisation with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, such as personal happiness in the second paragraph and economic benefits in the third. You use basic cohesive devices adequately, such as 'For instance', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. However, referencing and transitions are sometimes a bit mechanical or repetitive, such as starting multiple sentences with 'This'. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate your main ideas, contributing to a coherent reading experience overall.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You attempt some less common vocabulary related to the topic, such as 'dermatologists', 'plastic surgery', and 'youthfulness'. However, there are occasional inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'pay for their treatments to satisfy themselves' or referring to medical procedures simply as 'good results'. While the range is sufficient to communicate your message without difficulty, more precise and sophisticated lexical choices would elevate the response to a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a reasonable mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including conditional or concessive clauses such as 'Even though there are some bad results, I believe this is a good thing...'. There are several accurate sentences throughout the text, but you also make some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'This habit increases the new business opportunities' and 'people are waiting to get the treatments' instead of 'waiting to undergo treatments'. Punctuation is generally sound, and your errors rarely impede communication, allowing the reader to follow your arguments without major difficulty.

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